Nightmares and Cuddles

Livi has always been a fabulous sleeper. I think she slept 5 hours straight in the hospital even! I didn’t realize how amazing that was at the time. I was exhausted. I have realized since that most newborns only sleep two or three hours at a time. I will take my five hour sleeper any day! When she was around five or six months old she started giving up her middle of the night feeding and started consistently sleeping a full 12-13hours at a time while still having two over-an-hour naps during the day! I have been so blessed with this child. She still sleeps like that ๐Ÿ™‚

Recently though, Livi seems to be slowly developing some sleep issues. I read that sleep issues can be genetic. I did not nap after 12 months old and when I was 18 months old I started having night terrors, terrible dreams and insomnia. Insomnia and dreams still plague me to this day. I always just assumed my bad sleeping issues were a symptom of my chaotic childhood. Livi’s childhood, so far, has been very un-chaotic. She is on a set routine, Jon and I barely argue in front of her and never yell at each other. I don’t generally watch violent, intense, or scary shows in front of her, especially now since she notices the TV a lot more. I’m sure she has picked up on some of our stress this past year but we have made every effort to keep her feeling as stable and safe as possible. I think we’ve done a pretty good job so far. Maybe too good of a job… she is such a little dare devil! So why has she been waking up from a deep sleep sweaty and crying?

A few times a week, within the first 2-4 hours of Livi sleeping, she will wake up suddenly crying and screaming. When I go and pick her up, her hair is wet (and curly) from sweat. She is immediately comforted by me, stops crying, sometimes smiles at me, and plops her head back down on my shoulder. I think the episodes have been upsetting me more than her. She would gladly be put right back down in her crib and have me leave her to sleep, but I do generally cuddle her for a few minutes… just to reassure myself ๐Ÿ™‚

Has she started having night terrors already? Night terrors are very common in children, but from what I have read, generally night terrors don’t start until a child is at least 2 or 3. Night terrors are defined as being abrupt anxiety filled awakenings that can have the person experiencing them screaming, crying, sweating, flailing and while generally being inconsolable for a few minutes. Livi does not flail. She is generally limp and still lying down or just starting to sit up by the time I run in to her room. She is also completely consolable. She stops crying, relaxes immediately, and returns to sleep in seconds unscathed. Are these just terrible nightmares that she is having? She is not even thirteen months old yet! What scares her?

It is really horrible. I feel so helpless. Her pathetic, scared little scream is heart wrenching and I can’t run in to save her fast enough! Luckily, everything that I have read says that most children grow out of it… by adolescence! 11 more years of this?! Has anyone else experienced something like this with their kids? Is it a matter of reassuring her during the day some how? The only upset I can think of in the recent months, is that I am working occasionally now and am away from her more. These last two weeks have had me working a lot because two of the staff members at the group home I work in were getting married within a week of each other. Listen to all that ‘mom guilt’ coming up. Why do mom’s blame themselves for every little thing that comes up with their kids? Jon thinks it has more to do with her walking so much now and realizing the world is a much bigger place than she thought. The combination of both, plus the genetic disposition, are probably the culprits. An answer to the problem doesn’t make dealing with the problem any easier. Help!

The good part about her night waking is all the cuddles I’ve been getting! I love it! She just lays there and looks at me with her droopy eyes, burying her head in to her fuzzy on by shoulder. When I first pick her up, she sometimes gives me a scrunchy, squished smile. It is beautiful. Sometimes, even if she is sleeping soundly, I’ll go in to get my cuddles. Does that make me selfish? If you had a perfect baby who gave as good cuddles as Livi does you would be a little selfish too. She is so precious.

Other than that, Livi is doing great! Her language is taking off. She babbles even more than she used to but there is so much determination and point behind her talking. She looks at me expectantly, like I understand. Her words are expanding every day. She says Mommy, Daddy, (auntie) Sess, Wow, Nana (banana or any food), Cookie, Look, and Kitty, all really clearly now! She is quite the little dancer now too. She has four or five different moves she brings out. She loves watching So You Think You Can Dance and has even started trying to copy their dance moves! It is amazing! She hasn’t quite figured out how to put her dance moves together yet and can only do them one at a time. She knows where her head, nose, and belly is too. She is not too bad at sharing and she walks/runs EVERYWHERE!

Jon and I are doing well too… now ๐Ÿ™‚ We had a bit of a pregnancy scare. I have been like clock work for almost a year now and then this month I was three full days late! Needless to say, I was freaking out. We want a second child eventually… but not right now! Of course, we would love a second child if we get blessed earlier than planned, but I am thankful that I live in a time when medical and technological advances let me have some control over when I get pregnant again. We want to enjoy Livi as an only child for a while. I’d like to get our lives a bit more settled and I’d like to be on our way to getting a bigger home. The plan is to wait AT LEAST another year before trying to get pregnant again.

What’s Around the Corner?

The summer is officially over for us. Is it really over? When does it officially end? The weather is changing and slowly getting cooler and wetter. I am holding out hope for at least one more scorching week in September though. Vacations are ending. Kids are going back to school. People are re-entering their routines. Our routine won’t change all that much. The biggest thing is that I can actually put away the suit case for a while!

Lisa’s wedding marked the end of all our summer adventures… but my siblings and I did sneak in one last summer fling and headed out to the zoo! That is, all my siblings, plus Livi, and minus She Who Must Not Be Named (meaning my sister who is still refusing to participate with her family). The zoo was quite fitting actually. Maggy joined our family on September 1st, 1999. Ten years ago! When we first met her a few weeks before she moved it, we all went to the zoo! Here are a few pictures of all the fun we had….

We love having Maggy as a part of our family. She is the best thing to happen to us! I will write more about her in a future post… or you can look back at a post about her on my old blog here)

ย There were lots of baby animals that we got to see. Including this mommy and baby Wallaby.

Yes, I leash my child! With a leash as cute as this how could I not? The was, actually, the first time I used it and she is still a little to wobbly for it to really be effective.

Livi loved the Raptors show (picture above). She just stared and stared at the birds swooping past her. The owl swooped so low that it touched my head!

Posing for the camera! I’m imitating Livi’s stressed out face. She was doing it too but we didn’t quite catch it.

Livi wasn’t too impressed with Uncle Sean making her look at the camera.

ย Livi had only napped for about an hour in the morning but made it all day without a melt down! Her favorite animals were the monkeys and birds, probably because they were the loudest. She could relate well!

We have had a wonderful but very busy summer. We crossed Canada and back… well, at least we made it as far as Winnipeg and Vancouver Island. Livi has had quite the little life for a one year old. Too bad she won’t remember any of it. Our routine won’t be changing much. We don’t have any one going off to school and no new jobs, although Jon is still on the look out for better opportunities. We will just be trying to relax and get in to a regular routine. We’ll be concentrating on our family and trying to figure out and reach the goals we have set for ourselves.

Some of my personal goals include domesticating myself. Not completely – there is no hope for that. I want to cook more good, well-balanced dinners and bake a lot more often. I want to clean my house more regularly. I want to play with my daughter more. I want to fall more deeply and romantically in love with my husband, again. I want to read more. That’s not too big of a list is it? After the last year we’ve had (see here to get a small recap) I’m looking at this stage in my life as a new beginning. What other option do I have, well, other than falling in to despair? Okay, maybe that is a little over dramatic, but it has been a really tough year. Our busy summer of weddings and travel is over and the cool fall rain is on its way. What’s around the corner for me and my little family? Thanksgiving is in five weeks and then comes Christmas!

Yes, I DID just mention Christmas! And it is already at Costco!