Life is hard this week.

My back is out. By ‘out’ I mean I am completely incapacitated. I can’t stand up straight. I can’t pick up my children. It hurts to sit, to nurse, to lay down. Basically, I hurt if I do anything or nothing.

It comes from an old injury in high school. I was playing basketball and fell and herniated two discs in my lower back. No one knew what was wrong at first because I was so young. After months of pain they figured it out. They didn’t want to operate because of my age so I maintained it with exercise and core strength. It actually hasn’t really bothered me in over 6 years.

3 months ago I had a small relapse for a day or two. This time it is much worse though. They seem to have coincided with Evie’s 3 and 6 month growth spurts. She has grown faster than my muscles have strengthened. I was putting Sofie in her carseat when I felt the twinge.

I’ve been flat out and frequently in tears. Thankfully my mom lives downstairs and has been an awesome help with the kids, did the dishes and swept even! Maggy even folded our laundry. (Seriously people… CO-LIVING!) My sister came out a few hours each day to play with the girls and Jon’s mom is coming on Friday. A friend brought us dinner tonight and next week our social worker approved some house cleaning too so that will also be a huge blessing.

I’m hoping this disappears miraculously by Saturday morning because we have the DS Walk for Awarness! I was sick last year with bronchitis and had to miss it… and now this! Argh! Plus I have tickets to see Les Miserable on Sunday!

The doctor gave me some drugs that are “mostly” safe for nursing a baby. I’m just supposed to take it easy with them. One of them makes me really loopy and loose time which I hate and is actually pretty scary with little kids running around. The last time this happened I was on morphine pills and Gaba Pentin (a neuro inhibitor that made me not feel anything). Those are not baby safe and had me completely out of it. My options are limited. Basically, I have to ride this out, strengthen my core, loosen the muscle spasms and pray this doesn’t last the months it did last time.

Jon is a rock star. He is handling the kids amazingly, but understandably a little stressed out with them. He is running on minimal sleep since he has to get up to get the baby for me to nurse through the night and get up with the kids in the morning. Usually, I get up with the baby but then get to sleep in a bit. He is basically single parenting 4 little kids, waiting on me, Sofie and Evie hand and foot. Livi has been a big help in getting things for me too. When did she become such an awesome, empathetic big kid? I love her.

 Praying this goes away VERY quickly. It is so hard to be useless.

5 Months!

I know I’m late, but my baby is 5 months old! Yes, it’s cliche but Wow! Time Flies! I was watching a birthing show this morning and remembering. I did so awesome with the birthing part 🙂 I could easily do that part again!.. but I WON’T! I couldn’t do the pregnancy and baby thing again.

Evie has changed a lot this last month. She has thinned out a bit but still has her thunder thighs that I enjoy munching on. She still looks remarkably like my baby pictures… with a little of my sister in the mix. She is 18.2lbs and in 12 month size clothing.

Evie is so content and nonchalant about everything… except when she is on her tummy. She hates tummy time still. She has rolled from the front to back once, but regularly turns from back to front and gets stuck. I wish she’d figure it out.

She had a bunch of firsts this month. First ride on the ferry… I actually think it was Sofie’s first ride too! First time to the beach. Her first two teeth within a week of each other! First time swimming at the pool. I didn’t get any pictures since we took all three girls and didn’t have any hands for a camera. She was so chill about the water. Basically she didn’t care one way or another… except when I dunked her. She didn’t like that.

At the beach.

She LOVES the jolly jumper and gets some serious air in it. Her legs are quite strong but she doesn’t move her upper body much. I think that much be why she doesn’t roll from front to back.

She has been having crying fits this last week which is not much fun. I think it is too early for her 6 month growth spurt. She has been pooping a lot, like 3 times a day, which may be the reason for her crying but she doesn’t seem to be in pain or anything. She usually only poops once every four days or so. It could have to do with teething. I’m so not enjoying the middle of the night crying.

Evie’s sisters still adore her. I LOVE seeing the passionate love they have for her although I some times need to ward them off. I also love seeing how Evelyn reacts to her sisters. She smiles just at the sight of them. The way she does for me and her Daddy. We are her circle and she knows it.