Before I get to crazy and overwhelmed with all the last minute preparations I wanted to take a minute and publicly thank the people who have walked down this path with us and supported us in their own personal ways… (This is mostly my thank-you’s since it is my blog. Jon will need to make his own thank-you’s himself.)

First and foremost, I owe every possible thank-you I have to my mom. She is a real life Super Hero. Honestly. She had the strength to restart her life with 4 young kids. She went back to school and started a new career while being a single mom. She made the decision to bring Maggy in to our home, and introduced us fully in to the amazing world of the differently abled. She understands me, listens to me, gives me great advice, has faith in me, wants the best and has sacrificed so much for me. I could go on and on. Marmee, Thank-you from the bottom of my heart. You are the most amazing mother anyone could ever hope for. Thank-you for always supporting me and guiding me. Thank-you for going above and beyond for us and with us on this adoption journey.

Maggy- Thank-you for being you. You have been a quiet listening ear and always been available for a hug. Thank-you for being my sister and loving me unconditionally. Thank-you for lighting the spark in me to bring your niece home and for introducing me to the wonderful world of Down Syndrome!

Grandpa and Grandma – Thank-you for praying for me and supporting me through out the years in all the numerous ways that you have. I am so thankful to be lucky enough to have such a close relationship with you and hope that my kids get to experience that with their Grandmothers. You have given me such a good example and I have been incredibly inspired by the acceptance, love and generosity that you have given to me. Grandma, I can only hope to be as Godly a woman as you are one day. Thank you for your prayers and dreams. Grandpa, you have been the strong, quite leader that I needed in my life. As your health continues to deteriorate I am so humbled that you continue to think of us and ask about Sofie every time I see you, with out fail.

Vanessa and Liz – Thank you for your happiness and being so willing to help out whenever you can. Thank you for your humor and keeping me laughing through out this long and stressful wait.

Alana, Danielle, Mary, Michelle, and all my other girlfriends – Thank you for being a listening ear. Thanks for always asking about the adoption and talking about it with me. Thanks for celebrating the milestones with me and letting me vent my frustrations with the wait and bumps in the road. Thank you also for the play dates that kept me focused on being present and not stressing too much about this whole process!

Mom B – Thank you for raising such a wonderful son. I could not be as happy as I am with out him. Thank you also for all your support through this adoption. I know this is a bit of a new world we are bringing you in to. Your willingness to learn, acceptance and openness to this new world is beautiful. Thank you for your excitement too.

Lisa and Tony – Thank you for all your facebook comments! I think one of you have commented on every single one of my adoption related statuses. Thank you for being such wonderful supports from so far away! Thank you for being such an amazing aunt and uncle. Even though Livi doesn’t see you much she talks about you all the time. I know it is going to be the same with Sofie!

Keno Family – I owe so much thanks to you… I don’t think I can adequately put in to words my gratitude. You play such a special role for us in adopting Sofie. You introduced Jon in to your community and to people with different abilities. You prepared him for my world. You led the way and adopted a son, with DS, from Bulgaria before us! You answered my hundreds of questions about this process. It was also you who sent us that email about a little girl the same age as Livi who needed a family. It was that email that got us thinking it was time to adopt. That email changed our entire lives for the better. Like I said, I can’t adequately thank you for that.

Thank you to those who have adopted before me, given me advice and encouragement, and set a good example for me. Grandpa and Grandma, Emily, Mary Ellen, Daena…

Thank you also to all of you who have financially supported us. This is a very expensive endeavor and you have helped to alleviate a huge burden.

Thank you also to everyone who has been following this journey on the blog or Facebook. I love receiving all your comments and “likes”! It means so much to me!

Finally, I want to thank Livi for making parenting so enjoyable! And thank you to my husband. I love you. Thank you for being my partner. For being so patient, kind, giving, level headed, strong, understanding, etc… I could go on and on. I love how perfectly matched we are in some ways and how different we are in most! You challenge me and make me a better person. Thank you for wanting the same things for our family as I do and for being such an amazing Dad. We have been through so much over the last 10 years and I can’t wait to see what the next 10 bring for us!!!

I’ve been putting off writing this post because I think it is going to come across ungrateful and bitchy. But oh well, I wrote it. An apology in advance…

We didn’t really expect too many bad reactions when we first announced our intentions to adopt Sofie. Honestly, it didn’t really cross my mind at first. Adopting a child with special needs/abilities was always in the plans… we kind of assumed everyone else knew that too and was supportive of it. Most people know what kind of community I come from.

When we first told our close family members and friends this adoption was going to happen now, we got a lot of apprehensive support. There were no out right negative responses. Some where just quiet and tentative. Most asked questions. I liked the questions more because at least I knew a bit of what they were thinking. Their questions seemed to be wanting assurance that we knew what we were getting ourselves in to. We were just coming out of our “year of hell”, so I think people were worried we weren’t ready to jump in to anything so big yet. If they were apprehensive at first they all came around quickly and are so excited with us!

I get frustrated with the reactions from strangers and acquaintances more. We haven’t received any outright negative comments, just ignorant ones. Depending on the day and my mood I can brush it off, laugh, or try to have a conversation about it, but sometimes it really gets to me.

The worst comment we’ve received to date was from a semi-distant relative. Thankfully she isn’t technically a close family member but we still were hoping for a better response. When we mentioned we were going to be getting a second child her entire face and posture lit up. She was so excited when she thought we were pregnant. We continued and told her we were adopting a little girl with DS. Her whole expression dropped and she just said “Oh, I could never do that.” There was disdain in her voice. She never said congratulations either. I was SO mad. We left shortly after and since she lives far away, we haven’t had to see her either 🙂

Some of the easier comments to take have made me laugh and usually come from the person not filtering and just saying the first thing that comes to their head. I can appreciate this approach at a personal level 🙂 A friends mom’s response was a confused look over to Livi asking “But, isn’t Livi yours?” I responded with a laugh saying “Yes, and Sofie will be ours too.” She immediately realized how silly that sounded. Another complete stranger outright asked my mom, who was telling her about Sofie, if we were infertile. It was her first thought, but kind of weird to ask a stranger that. An uncle said “Isn’t sex cheaper?” This was my favorite 🙂 Yes, sex is a lot cheaper!

Usually people don’t know what to say and are silent when I tell them about Sofie. I can handle that too. It annoys me but I can just ignore it. I get that it is out of the norm. I just wish it wasn’t. What really irks me though is when people say “good for you!” I understand it is well meaning but what am I supposed to say to that? …. “Yes, it is really good of me. I’m an incredible person.”

I don’t think adoption is something to say “good for you” too. What does that even mean? Are they saying good for adopting? Or is it the fact that I’m adopting a child with special needs? Why can’t people just celebrate it? Why can’t the be excited and congratulatory like they would if I were pregnant? We are not doing this for recognition, or because we think we are better parents or people than anyone else. This is just a not-so-different way of expanding our family. Why do people treat it so differently? Doesn’t everyone know people that are adopted? Is this really such a taboo thing? If it is, it damn well shouldn’t be! I wish people could get more educated!

Why do people assume that adoption is for families who are infertile too? I just don’t get it. Maybe that is my ignorance. My grandparents were not infertile when they adopted either so it is kind of out of my frame of reference. I heard a stat once that if every Christian family were to adopt one orphan there would be no orphans left in the world. Hmmmm… kind of makes you think doesn’t it? Isn’t there something repeated over and over and over in the Bible about helping the widows and orphans? Just saying…

The best reactions we’ve got are from people who have adopted already. I’ve gotten beaming smiles, congratulatory emails, hugs, and even tears 🙂 They are the ones who truly understand and I am so appreciative of those people in my life who have adopted before us and can be an extra special support to us through this incredible journey. It really isn’t as scary as society believes it to be. Yes, it is a roller coaster, but, oh my God the reward is going to be SO worth it!

World Down Syndrome Day is celebrated on the 21st day of the 3rd month each year to signify triplication of the 21st chromosome. It is a day to raise awareness for what Down Syndrome is, is not, and how people with Down Syndrome play an important role in our lives and communities.

I was welcomed in to the life of Maggy when I was 16 years old. She, who has Down Syndrome, came to live with us because her parents had passed away and her sister didn’t want her unless she could get paid to keep her. She was just shy of 250lbs and 4’6 tall. She threw tantrums to get what she wanted and her quality of life was diminishing. She wasn’t valued and dealt with that by overeating and throwing tantrums. Her original doctor even told us that she didn’t have any other pleasures in her life so we should continue to let her eat whatever she wanted… We switched doctors.

It didn’t take long for Maggy to love and trust us all. Because of her our family was changed for the better. Maggy lost 150lbs and stopped throwing tantrums. I believe that our family was saved by Maggy. All us kids were in the midst of our angry teenage years and Maggy taught us too focus on something other and bigger than ourselves. For example, even though my brother wouldn’t talk to anyone, he would go and tuck Maggy in to say goodnight each night. That eventually led to him talking to us again. I know I’ve told that story before but it was a huge turning point for all of us. Maggy was and still is a un-judging shoulder to cry on and listening ear for all of us. She is still the worlds best hugger 🙂 In every sense of the word that matters Maggy is my sister and I love her with all my heart!

I always knew I wanted to include a people with Down Syndrome in the family that I grow as well and I was blessed enough to get a husband who wanted the same thing! We didn’t know exactly how that would come about until I proposed adopting a little girl to Jon last January. It was not a big debate. It wasn’t a question of whether we should adopt who we now know is Sofie, but how we were going to make it happen.

I am literally filled with bubbles of anticipation for Sofie to come home. I can’t imagine how much she is going to bless our family and I can’t wait to find out! I think next years World Down Syndrome Day is going to be a very different personal feel for me 🙂