Tag: Milestones

My Baby is 2.

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2 years have gone by, and fast. My baby is 2 years old. This is the last time I will celebrate one of my children turning 2. It’s the birthday between being a baby and being a kid.

I remember Evelyn’s birth well and cherish those memories. I didn’t like being pregnant with either of my kids but I loved giving birth. There are certain things about those early morning hours bringing Evelyn in to the world that are still so vivid to me…

~ I remember eating leftover chicken teriyaki while watching Downton Abby and sitting on an exercise ball at 2am. I would take breaks to stand up and rock through a contraction then get back to my show.

~ I remember Livi waking up early before 6am and sitting beside me on the bed where I was resting between contractions. I had prepared her as much as I could to see me labour and watch her sister be born. I asked her if she was scared or worried. She said no but her face looked a bit concerned.

~ I remember getting out of the tub the last time and Kristi (our doula) saying to me that I sounded “pushy” and “maybe we should go…” and me adamantly denying the possibility that I would be that far along already. It was still such easy labor after all.

~ I remember the moment I realized I was much further along than I thought. I was kneeling in the back seat of the car, turned backwards, hugging the seat and trying to occupy myself with texting people and calling the hospital. I had just got off the phone with the maternity triage nurse who had said they couldn’t call my midwife until I was assessed in the hospital, even though I told her I thought I was further along than I should be. My body changed. I think the transition was actually over and I began to push. It was so apparent and shocking that I reached down to actually check if I could feel her head. I tried to hide it from Jon and remembered a breathing technique our aunt, and doula for Livi, had taught me which helped me not to push. Jon heard it in my groans though and realized what was going on.

~ I remember Kristi’s hand. I didn’t think I would make it up to the maternity ward from the doors where Jon was dropping me off. I had gotten out of the car and had to bare down immediately. Kristi said something about when the contraction was over, we would run together. All I could see was her hand and I took it and we ran…. We made it to the hand sanitizer station, then to the information desk, then to the elevators. Each time I thought I would collapse and my baby would fall out of me but following each contraction she gave me her hand, which I grabbed tightly and we ran again. I must have looked quite hilarious. I was 40 weeks, fully dilated and 0 or +1 station running through a lobby bow legged. (+3 is the baby crowning)

~ I also remember the nurses face when I stepped out of the elevator. Jon had jumped out first in a panic demanding assistance, but they didn’t take him seriously… then they saw me waddle out with my legs spread apart like a cartoon of someone sore from riding a horse for too long. I locked eyes with one nurse in particular and she just stood there wide eyed for a second. It still makes me laugh.

Evelyn’s birth was not what we had planned. I had hoped for both Grandmas, Livi and a photographer to be there and capture those precious moments. I’m thankful I have such vivid memories in my mind and I will hold on to them tightly.

First morning picture. We had been out after midnight in the ER because of croup.
She was a grumpy 2 year old.

We did salvage the afternoon and got some birthday pictures!

Evelyn is a passionate 2 year old now. She is very dramatic and quite the little goof ball. She doesn’t sit still and is not big in to cuddling, unless she is sleeping with me, then she must be pressed up against me. She is always on the go, loves to climb and jump. Her motor skill seem very well developed. Instead of walking she will jump around the house which I’m sure my mom downstairs appreciates a lot! She adores being outside and would live out there all day if the weather allowed. She has her own way of doing things and we are not permitted to interfere with her process without repercussions. She enjoys the process of learning and figuring things out. I think she may end up being my academic child because she likes the process of learning as much as the end result.

Her favourite foods are probably yogurt and cookies. She goes in to the pantry and helps her self cookies often. I need to watch that better. She adores her big sister Livi and Livi adores her back, but Sofie and her have a love/hate relationship right now. Developmentally they are about the same age, but they don’t have the bond that twins might have. It makes for some loud, screaming baby days. I’ve already been seeing the love re-bloom so I think it will just get better as they learn to share and give each other the space that they need. I actually think they’ll be great friends… one day. 

Evelyn is very tall and has been in size 3 clothes since around 18 months old. She can count to 10 reliably and then mixes up all the teen numbers. She has been in a big girl, real size bed for a few months now. That transition went much easier than expected. She is still very uninterested in getting potty trained but she will sit on it everyone once in a while, just to show us she is like her big sisters. Her language is coming a long, though it was slow to start. We are mostly working on using her big girl voice with the words that she has, because she tends to be quite whiny. She fits her role as the youngest well.

Evelyn LOVES watching music videos on YouTube. Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Tragically Hip are currently her favourites. Jon is very thankful for her interest in the Hip. She also adores books with her favourites being the Olivia series and those big first word board books. She really will sit and listen to any book though. She has a blankie that is her favourite thing in the world and goes hand in hand with her soother. She sleeps with them every night along with an Eeyor stuffy and 3 fairly large My Little Ponies, two of which she has acquired from her sisters. It’s quite the crowded bed.

How old are you?
“Two!”

Christmas birthdays are hard. So much else is going on and they get put off. I will need to do better with planning when she gets older. I managed to pull something together this year though. The BK’s came swimming with us, then came over for dinner and cake. It was My Little Pony themed and I was pretty proud of the cake that I came up with and made 🙂 Evelyn was very impressed too!

I suspect this next year is going to be filled with growing up and maturing. New skills and language are already turning up. I think she will be quite the little lady by this time next year but I hope she keeps a hold of her unique weirdness. It is fabulous to see. My kids birthdays are always a little bittersweet. I’m not completely sure I’m always ready for them to be growing up. Evelyn is my last baby so it is even more apparent to me with her. I’m so grateful for the passionate, strong-willed child she is becoming. Though strong-willed children are not the easiest to parent, I’m sure it will serve her very well later in life.

To Evelyn,

I hope you read this when you are older and know how completely loved you are. You were such a wanted surprise and I’m so thankful for you and how you have completed our family. These two years went fast for me. You are a very busy little girl. I want time to slow down so I can soak in these last baby moments with you. 

Your passion is inspiring and I can’t wait to see how you use it in the coming years. Your strong-will is going to take you places and serve you well. I can’t wait to see how you change our world. You have already changed it for us. 


Happy Birthday to my baby girl who is 2 now. You are precious beyond words.

I love you fiercely, 
Mommy

Livi’s 6th Birthday

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Livi turned 6.

While I know I technically already have a six year old, Livi is my first child. She made me a Momma and started me down this most incredible journey. It feels like kind of a big deal.

Olivia was an easy baby and although she brings me her own challenges she is still a pretty easy kid to parent. She is spirited and passionate. She is emotional and empathetic. She is adventurous and cautious. She is helpful and compassionate. She is a better big sibling than either of her parents were. She adores her sisters while getting appropriately frustrated with them at times too. She can be shy and a leader, depending on her confidence level at the moment. She thrives in responsibility and protects her sisters fiercely. She loves school but is not loving reading yet. She is really just an all around good kid.

She is going in to grade one this year and is very excited. Earlier this year she wanted to be a queen when she grew up, but now she wants to be a singer. She is finally starting to sing a little louder and in front of people too which is nice to see. Her confidence is growing.

She can ride her bike like a pro now. She makes macaroni and cheese all by herself. She can get breakfast for herself too, if she is up before us. She puts all her own laundry away and clears and wipes the table. She is in charge of cleaning her own room at the end of the night and helps with the other toys. She has a few extra tasks that she can earn money for, like cleaning the litter box, washing windows, emptying the dishwasher by herself (they all help me when asked but if she does it alone she can earn money), washing the tub, etc. Some days she’s really excited to do the extra tasks and sometimes she doesn’t want any of it.

While 5 Livi lost her first tooth, just over a month ago. She finished her kindergarten year with flying colors! She enjoyed camping again this summer and got to see the dinosaurs in Drumheller, something she’s been excited about for months. She had her first real flu bug and ended up in the ER a few times because of it. She passed all her swimming classes and has to wait until she is 6 before she goes on to the next level. It’s amazing how much can happen and change in one year!

Livi’s biggest struggle is perfectionism. It actually affects a lot of things in her little life. She expects things to be easy for her and wants things to be her idea of perfect. If they aren’t easy or perfect she gets  frustrated and gives up. This is one of the reasons she is still not enjoying reading. She screamed and cried through learning to ride her bike but we chose to finally push her one day and it only took half a block of riding for her to have full confidence in it. I remember that day as my best and worst parenting choice. So hard to hold our ground but she was so proud of herself afterwards! Sugar is not her friend. It makes her angry and have meltdowns. With all the vacationing and birthday celebrations she’s had a few little episodes and a big one last night. 

We had a small birthday party for her and a few best friends at the zoo. Not hosting a party at your house is SO MUCH easier by the way! She had a blast and got to see her current favourite animal, the Cheetah!

Then we had some cake on her actual birth date. It was actually a joint cake for me too since we didn’t do a home one for my birthday 10 days earlier. 6 candles were for her and 3 for me! I did get cake in Alberta though 🙂

I’m so proud to be this kids Momma. She is turning in to the most wonderful little lady and I’m so thankful for her. I having a bit of a hard time wrapping my head around her being 6, but she is proving to be extraordinary. I can’t wait to see what else she gets to experience and accomplish in this next year. 
I love you Livi! Happy Birthday Baby Girl! 

Ten Years

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Last week we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. This post is a little late because we ended up going on vacation the next day, but here it is finally! 

It’s been ten years since my husband Jon and I committed to share our lives together. We were very young when we got married. I was 21 and he was 23. We had no idea what we were getting into. Let me get a little nostalgic here for a minute…

We met at Bible College. He was studying to be a pastor when we met. I swore I would not marry someone from Bible College and never a pastor! Thankfully, before we started dating, he had changed his vocational goals at least. We got really serious pretty quickly and got married 20 months after we started dating. We had no money and a ton of student loan debt but Jon was still in school so we were able to pretend the debt wasn’t there!

He proposed at a park while he serenaded me on a picnic table with “Green Eyes” by Coldplay. It was sweet. I totally knew it was coming. Our wedding was lovely. We planned it in only 4 months. It was in my Great Aunt and Uncle’s backyard. We said our vows under a canopy of trees. Jon’s Dad married us, Jon wrote our vows, and I planned the party. Our vows tried to captured expressions of the Love of God: Eternal Love of the Father, Co-suffering Love of the Son, Dynamic Love of the Spirit. The reception was an open air coffee house, complete with an open coffee bar and jazz trio. It was such a special day.

We thought the beginning was easy. We did not experience the hard first year of marriage so many talk about. We even bragged about how easy we were together. Jon was in school for the first few years and worked at ‘the wood shop’ when he could. I waitressed and eventually got more in to working with people with disabilities to support us. We had fun. We had great friends and we loved to host parties. 

Just before our 4 year anniversary, our lives started to change. We were forced to really become aware of what our issues where. Our marriage had been easy up to that point only because Jon never let his real feelings be known and I walked all over him. I don’t think it is much of a secret that I can be dominating and Jon can be passive. We are both overly stubborn. Resentment built in Jon and I was oblivious. Around the same time we had a lot of external influences push us down a different path. I was pregnant with our first child. Jon began experiencing deep and clinical depression which ended in him dropping out of his Master’s program. Jon’s dad died suddenly and unexpectedly. Livi was born a month, to the day, later. Jon continued experiencing mental health issues that manifested in different ways. My sister cut herself off from the family to be with an abusive boyfriend. I also, illegally, lost a job I loved but had no energy to fight for by that point in my life.

Livi was the one good thing in our lives in that time. I’m sure if it wasn’t for her we would not be here together now. She is not the reason we are still together but she did help us not give up in the moment, which would have been easy. She gave me the motivation to change myself and something to focus on other than my frustration with Jon. She was a beacon and distraction for Jon too. We were as close to a divorce as I ever want to be. I had a plan to leave one day if our talk that evening before didn’t go well. It did go well… as well as it could have I guess. We committed to and started some individual and couples therapy. We fought hard for ourselves and our life together. Over the next few months we worked hard, separately and together. Six months later we were a different, stronger, healthier and more respectful couple.

In the 5 years since our ‘year from hell’ we have continued to grow and shape our future. We became a real little family and our priorities evolved. Jon changed career paths and has been quickly advancing up the ranks of his new fulfilling career choice. When Livi was 18 months old we started our journey to adopt Sofie who came home in 2011. We moved twice and at the end of 2012 our precious Evelyn showed up! I’m a stay at home mom currently, taking care of my kids and playing domestic goddess and chauffeur. Jon works hard at supporting us and spending as much time with us four girls as he can! We are happy and content. It’s a pretty good thing we’ve got going on here!

I asked Jon if he had any words of wisdom or for something he’s learned over the ten years we’ve been together. He chose to be a dork and quote a Rolling Stones song, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.” Truth, but not what I was looking for. 
I’ll share some of my thoughts or wisdom instead…
1. Understand and respect each others communication style and ALWAYS communicate! 
I know it’s a little cliche but it is so true. You don’t know what the other person is thinking, so ask. If you are the one who is asked, be honest! Initiate conversation!
Jon and I have opposite communication styles, and it took a while to figure each other out. He is passive and will let himself suffer to avoid conflict, where I will hit conflict head on and not back down. I also talk things in circles. We have learned to understand how each other “fight” and respect it. We negotiated a few rules, like me not bringing things up right before bed and Jon giving me a five minute warning for when he is needing the discussion to be over or tabled. Jon puts extra effort into initiating difficult conversations and apologies, as well as patiently listening to me talk it all out. 
2. Divorce is always an option, which makes you free to choose your marriage. 
This was a big one for Jon. It sounds backwards to many who have been told to take the word “divorce” out of their vocabulary. I was raised by a single mom so divorce was a very real option in my mind but Jon felt trapped by that way of thinking. If there is no out when you are unhappy wouldn’t that just breed resentment, contempt, fear and depression? To think that divorce is not an option in this day and age is just naive. If you have an out then you become aware that marriage is a choice. You can choose to stay and work on it or you could get divorced! It was a very freeing idea for Jon.
3. Know what makes each other feel connected and practice that for each other. 

I feel more connected to Jon when he puts effort in to making me and my efforts feel noticed. If he offers to wash the floors for me (a job I hate) or if her initiates and plans spending some quality time with me, I feel more connected to him. He would say he feels more connected to me when we have sex, which not an uncommon connection point for most men. When I feel more connected to him, we have more sex, which lends to more quality time and help around the house. It is circular 🙂 
It’s been a wild ride! 10 years ago, I didn’t have a clear idea of what I thought my life would look like today, but I’m so grateful it has turned out the way it did. I am blessed to have a husband who is so on the same page as I am in our goal setting, finances, sex, life choices, and parenting. He has been willing to put up with so much of my baggage and pay for many of the sins of my father. I’m so thankful that we chose each other ten years ago and continue to choose each other today.