Listen To Your Kids

Sunday night at church, one of our teaching pastors interviewed a Christian gay musician, who grew up in the Abbotsford Christian community. He shared his story through hating who he was and beliefs that God and his family would not love him if they knew, in to a musician with a debut album that chronicles his journey. He is hoping that his music can help gay teens who are having similar experiences that he did and help bridge the gap between homosexuals and Christians.

His story was authentic and eye-opening but his music just mediocre. The amazing part of the evening for me was not his journey but his parent’s. His whole family had joined us at our church that evening. With them sitting there, he gave some insight in to how they handled his “coming out”. He didn’t go in to detail but from the little that was said it sounded like he approached it in steps for them and it was received with a whole array of emotions. The parents raised their kids in a conservative Christian home with the traditional belief that homosexuality was a sin. 

All of this is just back story for the really fabulous part of the evening. The floor was opened up to questions and comments, which is when his father spoke up. I think the parent’s emotions were still raw over everything. His father spoke to his son with such emotion, filling their relationship with restoration and love. For the seven of the 13 years that his son struggled struggled with his sexuality, the family had no idea. They assumed it was just teenage angst. While the father spoke he broke down crying, pleading with parents to listen to their kids. I can imagine there must be a lot of feelings of guilt on the parents side. He went up to the front, embraced his son and through tears, told him that he loved him. You can’t get more organic or beautiful than that.

The father’s words really made me think. Do I have ideas for my daughter’s future? Yes, I do. Is it wrong of me to think or hope that she is going to be hetero sexual and have a family? (Not to say that homosexuals can’t have a family.) Why do I have a preconceived idea for her? I think it must be my own upbringing and environment. How would I handle her being bi-sexual or homosexual? Will I create an open and accepting environment for her to feel comfortable enough to talk to me about anything? I really hope so! As the artist’s father said “listen to your kids”. That listening starts now. I want to be her friend as well as her mother. I want her to feel and know that I will love her no matter what. 

As far as my personal views go regarding sexuality, I’m fairly accepting. I believe as long as people are coming from a place of health and respect for themselves and their sexual partner/s, any relationship can be beautiful, no matter what that relationship looks like. I believe there is a kind of scale people are on in regards to homo or hetero sexuality. Some people tend towards the more hetero side of the scale, some are in the middle and bisexual, and some are more on the homo side of the scale. We joke about this “scale” at parties and often refer to it as a “sliding scale”, dependent upon how many drinks you’ve had 🙂  Some people may think that I am living in a desensitized culture and opening my views up to much. That may be true in some instances, but wouldn’t it be better to error on the side of love and acceptance than on the side that breeds judgment and seclusion? As a song that was covered on Sunday night says “You’re frozen when your heart’s not open.”

One thought on “Listen To Your Kids

  1. Anonymous says:

    That sounded like a very interesting service. I mean I grew up just believing that having a different sexual preference was wrong… Some people would say “what has happened to our world”why are we so accepting of things that used to be so frowned upon in the Christian body?” I know that I am all for not being judged and always am taking careful consideration to walk in someone else's shoes and to get to know each and every reason why the way they are. I mean “you are which you are” if you struggle and pray and take it to God and you are still what you are; then what? I know that no matter what my children become I will love them no matter what… I might struggle with choices but Oh how I love them!! That must be how God loves us? I don't know how to be judgemental of anything any more. I choose not to be. Discerning of my own choices are a good way to be I think. My heart melts for the one who struggles with alienation!


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