Everybody Has a Random

1 Comment

1. This week was rough. I think the honeymoon with Sofie is over. Friday night was very low. Both girls were being ridiculous and I was PMSing. At one point I was just rocking a crying Sofie in the dark, crying myself. We finally got both girls to sleep though. Jon made me go out Saturday morning. I went to the kids swap and then the Eco Boutique and got an Echo Rain shirt for myself! I came home much more relaxed and to happy children!

2. Sofie has been playing so well. A month ago she had no idea what to do with toys but lately this area of development has been taking off! She started just playing with baby dolls but now she plays with the kitchen set, tea set, tent, mirror, mega blocks, books etc! It is so great to see 🙂

3. Thursday we got Sofie’s Citizenship Card! She has technically been a citizen since landing in Canada but we had no way of proving it! With her card now, we have applied for her MSP and Care Card, SIN card, Passport, and Child Tax benefit! Once her Care Card comes in we can get a doctor to fill out her Disability Tax credit, Access card and get her on Jon’s Extended health. The paperwork never ends!

4. I’m feeling the lack of storage and flow in our home right now. We have a very mis-matched kitchen with no counter space and no closet space anywhere. I’m thinking of even renting a storage unit or something. The girls’ next sizes of clothes that I am storing are over taking any corners of storage that we do have. I’d get rid of the baby stuff but we are not sure that we are done having kids quite yet. There are so many things that I love about this home, and so many things that are really getting to me.

5. Livi has been so helpful and fun lately, when she isn’t throwing a tantrum. Maybe emotionally manic is a better way to describe her. When she is feeling happy she is an angel. She figures out to do things all herself and does anything and everything to help out. She shares with Sofie and gets so excited to see how she reacts. The other day she put a whole pan of cookie dough on the pan by herself and I only had to fix three of them! I was a kind of proud. Then her mood switches so quickly for seemingly no reason, and it has escalated to a full tantrum melt down a few times. It is quite epic. She is definitely keeping us on our toes! I love her.

6. Halloween is so much more exciting when you have kids! Livi is going as a bumblebee and I’m hoping Sofie fits in to the ladybug costume of Livi’s from last year!

7. I’m already getting excited for Christmas!

Wednesday Night Rant :)

2 Comments

I think being a new mom is lonely no matter what the circumstances. You can go days with out talking to another adult, wearing anything but sweats or pajamas, or getting out of the house. Your kids drain any energy or sanity that you might be clinging too. I think this is mostly normal. It is a huge adjustment period, even if you couldn’t wait for your child! Whether your child is your first, second or fifth, birth or adopted, there is still an adjustment period and it is hard.

I grew up in a very busy and loud home. As the oldest of four chaotic kids, there was always some one to hang out with or talk to. Our door was always open too. We were quirky, authentic, flawed and a whole lot of fun. Friends would come over just to watch TV or even hang out with my mom if us kids weren’t home. I don’t miss the chaos but I do wish there were more people around to talk to. I have Jon right now but we have very different communication styles and like our space from each other some times 🙂 Having him home is an adjustment in itself. Thankfully, we’ve been too busy to really get at each other much!

It is hard to find a remedy for Mommy-loneliness right now. I think it is just a stage in my life. Once my kids are all in school I can get a regular job again! Most of my friends are either child less, so don’t have patience to hang out with a mom and two rambunctious kids, or they are in the same situation as me. They have to be home for nap times, cleaning and cooking the same as me. They don’t get out much, just the same as me 🙂

I think I’m feeling extra alone because of the different parenting situation I’m in. At least, I’m feeling like I’m in a different situation. Maybe all new moms feel like that. We are still figuring out how to parent Sofie properly. She needs a lot of parenting right now. I find myself questioning which parenting issues are just adoption issues, which are normal 3 year old issues and what are down syndrome issues.

As much experience as Jon and I have with people with different abilities, we don’t really know anyone or have a lot of experience with kids. We have friends who have adopted babies (typical and different abilities) and older kids but know no one with toddlers. I don’t get nearly as much advice from strangers or even family as I did, or even still do, with Livi. I’m mostly thankful for random people not butting in, but right now the silence is just echoing to me how unique our family is. No one knows what advice to give or what to say when I complain about Sofie hitting and pulling hair CONSTANTLY! Or the fact that she still rarely naps, but when she doesn’t nap she is ridiculous from 3pm until bed time.

In my annoyed, easily disappointed state of mind, I get mad that our family is so unique. We shouldn’t be. Why don’t more people choose adoption? Why are people so scared of people with different abilities and quirks? Why, when strangers find out I have adopted a child with DS, feel the need to either question why I would choose to do that and some how get some understanding or clarity from the fact that I have a sister with DS or tell me some awkward anecdote about how they know some one with DS and would love to adopt “one” because of how cute and simple they are? One lady even told me she thought DS people would be easier to parent because they are easily manipulated. Wow. This lady was cutting my hair at the time and I was really at a loss for words. Having a sister with DS does NOT explain why we have adopted Sofie and please DO NOT talk about my kid like she is a puppy you want to take home.

Haha… this blog post did not turn out like I thought it would 🙂 It sounds like I’m judging anyone for getting pregnant. I’m not. Pregnancy and birth are some of the most amazing things I have ever experienced but people get so attached to their ideals and what they think the perfect life should look like. People want what they want and they don’t want to mess with anything by adding unknowns to the mix. News flash: There are a lot more unknowns with pregnancy than with adoption! My birth child is no more or less a miracle and no more or less my child than my adopted child is.

Anyways, I am going to go to a signing playgroup for families with kids with DS 0-5 years old next month. I’m really excited and I really hope I can connect with some other families with toddlers with DS. I think it will be good for all of us! I’m also going to make a real effort to go to the DS parent group once a month. I only went once when we were just starting the adoption process and haven’t been since. Basically I just need to get out of the house and have some adult conversations!

I leave you with some amazing family photos that my friend took for us a few weeks ago! Enjoy…

The Results Are In – UPDATE

4 Comments

Since we’ve been home from Bulgaria Livi has been complaining of stomach aches. It did not alarm us at first since everything was such a huge adjustment for her. She did not have Mommy or Daddy for 16 days and we brought back a sister who takes up a lot of attention away from her. We figured that all the added stress was most likely the cause of her tummy aches or possibly just a way to get some extra attention from us.

Her complaints did not seem to be subsiding though so at the one month mark we took her to doctor. Our doctor is wonderful. He normalizes everything while at the same time checking everything out very thoroughly. He suggested it most likely was stress or attention seeking or that she possibly wasn’t emptying herself thoroughly when she went to the bathroom. Apparently this is common in toddlers and I have noticed that Livi will clench, literally hold it in until she has to let out a little turd and get off the toilet as quickly as she can.
The doctor ordered a batch of blood work, urine and an x-ray. Livi did so good with all of them. It broke my heart when she just lay her head on my shoulder crying while the needle was in her arm drawing blood. Friday the doctor’s secretary called us and told us Livi’s results were in and he wanted to see us. 
My husband thinks I’m over reacting but I’m kind of freaking out about the results a bit. In my mind there are two possibilities. She could have a simple bladder infection or UTI which I am praying for! But, the more likely result is Celiac. If she has a UTI the doctor should have just ordered meds for her, right? Not made her wait the entire weekend. Celiac is known to sometimes need a trigger to become symptomatic. The stress of Mommy and Daddy being gone for so long could easily be the trigger. 
Celiac is in my family. 3 out of 4 women in my immediate family have it. I have it, maybe I haven’t had my trigger yet because I have no symptoms. Livi has a very high probability of having it too. The doctor said she is likely to be to young to have anything show up in her blood work but with what he all tested her for I don’t know what else it could be. 
I’m not on the Celiac diet because I have no symptoms but if Livi has it I will, of course, do it with her. I think that is part of why this is so devastating for me. I haven’t accepted this for me, how am I going to accept this for her. It seems like such a difficult lifestyle change and especially so hard for a kid! 
Okay, I hope I’m over reacting. I just needed to get my thoughts out and this is where I do it. I will update this post tomorrow after the doctors appointment and hopefully let you all know that I worked myself up for nothing! Please pray that it really is nothing and she doesn’t have Celiac. A friend, who has Celiac, reminded me that there are much worse diseases one could have. She is right. I’m so blessed to have two healthy girls. Even with Celiac, Livi will still be a very healthy little girl. I just want the best for my girls and hope that Livi does not have to be deprived of paska, cake, yummy bread and all that comes with the deliciousness of gluten. I’m hoping this for myself too! I don’t want to give it up yet!
UPDATE – Livi’s Celiac results were inconclusive due to her age. Her body does not make enough antibodies to measure yet. The doctor is not saying she doesn’t have Celiac for sure but she isn’t deficient in anything now and seems to be healthy otherwise. We can test her again when she is older if we’d like.

Livi’s problem is that she is seriously backed up. She has clenched so much that her intestines are stretching, causing the stomach pain. This could easily have been caused by the stress of us being gone. I didn’t notice anything because she was still having a bowel movements each day. Apparently, she wasn’t having enough of a bm. She’s also had a history of being constipated when she was a newborn. I had to give her suppositories. This time we are doing lactulose. Just a bit until she is all cleaned out, and seriously upping her fiber intake. She is going to HATE this post when she is older 🙂

I’m so thankful we don’t have to go gluten free, yet anyway. Thank you for all your prayers and support and I’m so glad this is an easy fix! If she ever does get diagnosed or I go on the diet, I’ll be calling on you gluten free friends!