Deflated

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I feel like some one has taken a big brick and popped/squished/scratched/stomped on my balloon. I’m feeling defeated and depressed. Up until this morning I was feeling so much hope and excitement for this week. Court which was going to make Sofie ours was happening this week! I was making plans for traveling, starting to think about packing, and really excited to announce that Sofie is ours!

I got the call this morning that the judge had looked at our file. My heart jumped! I was thinking that this was the call to tell me I “had” a toddler last night 🙂 Unfortunately, the judge wants more papers. She wants an updated proof of income and a statement showing what property we own. My heart sank. It is not a “no” to adopting Sofie. Apparently, she had been happy with our application, but she wants more. I had been warned that Bulgaria was a paper intensive country but this seems so unnecessary.

You may think that two extra documents is not such a big deal, but it is. These two little documents need to be legalized and  authenticated in Ottawa. That takes at least 4 weeks. These documents won’t be in the judges hands for another month. She won’t make a ruling on whether Sofie can be ours or not for another month. Sofie will be stuck in the orphanage, unaware of how much I love her for another month. The judge had our application in her hands! She could have just said yes! We could be parents of two children right now. Why didn’t she just say yes? This is so frustrating. I had a good cry about it earlier… I suspect those were not the only tears that will be shed this month.

I got the documents sent off to our agency today. I couriered them so they get there tomorrow and they should be in Ottawa by the end of the week. We are now looking at getting Sofie in September at the earliest. I feel heartbroken. I just want her home.

Father’s Day

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We were hoping to have a court date to announce to you but unfortunately, still no word. So I will tell you about my amazing husband and my wonderful Grandfather.

I don’t think I could have made a better choice in a father for my children. Jon is wonderful. He dotes on his daughter, reads and plays with her, teaches her, has patience with her and loves her fully and unconditionally. I read a quote today that reads “A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men.” I think Jon holds that standard quite high for any future suitors.

I am so blessed to have Jon co-parent with me. Because of my understanding of what a father was, I never thought I would have a partner for that. I’m so glad he has proved me wrong. He has redeemed the example I had from my own birth father and showed me what a real Dad is. I am also constantly amazed at how perfectly we agree on nearly all parenting issues. Our styles, priorities and hopes for our children are nearly identical. Our hopes for our family have been completely in tune also. Adoption was not just something I wanted and he consented too. He wanted it and is just as passionate as I am. He is just as eager to have Sofie  in our arms as I am, although he may keep those emotions in check a little better than me!

Today we also got to celebrate my Grandfather’s 89th birthday. It was pretty special to celebrate such a momentous occasion with a man who was so important in my life. He assisted my mom through leaving my birth father, helped raise us kids and was always there for us with his insight and support. I am so thankful for him. As this is likely his last Father’s Day, since his health is worsening every day, I’m thankful I got to see him smile today and look around the room to all the family that he has loved and helped guide.

I’ll leave you with some pictures of our trip to the water slides a few weeks ago. Just another example of what a wonderful father Jon is…
 We brought the Bum along 🙂 She always does this with her 
hair when she isn’t swimming… It makes me laugh 🙂

They were having far too much fun 🙂
 On the big kid, really fast slide!

 Down they go! Good thing Livi isn’t afraid of going under 🙂
 Hot Tubbin’ it!

 Chillaxin’
Such a good Daddy:)
 Group Shots
 Pretty Girls!

My Little Ballerina

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Livi has been in ballet for a few months now and LOVES it! She practices all by herself, loves mastering new moves like the plie, and has really developed her balance, dancing, and even confidence… not that she was lacking that too much! She even got to have real dance photo’s taken and take part in her very first recital!

For the pictures parents weren’t allowed in to the room. I was so surprised but I understood how some parents could hinder the pictures a lot more than help. It was my first experience of Livi being “grown-up” enough to not need me! I think it was much harder on me than on Livi. As you can see they turned out great!
For Livi’s dress rehearsal I decided it would be okay for her to have a little make-up on for the stage. She just ate it up. Thankfully, I had explained that it was only for the stage and she hasn’t asked for it at home. 
Miss Coral putting some make-up on Livi before going on stage.

Waiting to go on stage…

There are four little girls in Livi’s class and they all did so good for both performances. No crying and they worked the audience! When Livi came off from dancing for an audience the first time she got upset and cried to me “I want more!” She was “so proud” and kept talking about how everyone clapped for her. Uh Oh… What have we introduced her too?!
Coming off stage from the dress rehearsal! 
After the last performance they all got a ribbon. Livi was so proud!
Daddy got her flowers fitting for any Diva in the making 🙂
I was very proud of my little ballerina and so glad she had so much fun. We will have to see how the schedule fits and how things go with Sofie home, but Livi is hoping to be in Ballet again next season!