Two Years Later

These two weeks are filled with celebrations in our family. The most ongoing is Sofie’s Two Years home! August 1 marks the day we first met Sofie. August 4 is our Gotchya day. The day we took Sofie out of the orphanage and in to our arms forever. August 14 is when we arrived in Canada and the 15th is when we woke up all together as a family!

Two years later she is flourishing. Our social worker comes for her final update to send back to Bulgaria in a few days. I’m excited for her to see the change in her. Sofie is so much more than the shadow of the child that we met two years ago. I was reading back in this blog from our first weeks with our second daughter…. (Check out my archives from August and September 2011)

Then:
Sofie is developmentally at a 9-12 month old baby with a 3 year olds strength and agility. She hits and pulls hair.
Now:
Sofie is developmentally around 2 year old with the strength of a 4 year old. She still hits a bit but knows she shouldn’t and understands it hurts. She no longer pulls hair.

Then:
She still prefers baby pablum cereal but we are pushing other food and this morning discovered she loves mushed up banana and Cheerios! We even got a few sips of chocolate milk in her!
Now:
She will eat anything but does not like raw veggies or fruit much. I have to work to get that in her. She LOVES chocolate covered almonds though! She feeds herself and drinks out of a normal cup, though she can be pretty messy with it.

Then:
She is really starting to understand the signs for ‘more’ and ‘all done’ and uses them correctly when it suits her….. We’ve really only heard “aaaahhhh’s” from her but today she whipped out a few “bababa’s” and even a few “mamama’s”!
Now:
Sofie understands most of what we say and can say or sign well over 100 words. Not everyone can understand them but she is saying them! She communicates making her choices known. She has choices.

Then:  
She does do some self stimulating rocking thing on her back. It looks like it is a symptom for being bored at the institution
Now:
She still rocks, but only when she listens to music. She doesn’t click her teeth anymore like she used to either.

Then:
Right now she is the top of a 12 month old and the waist of a 9 month old… I think she is too tall for 9 month pants though.
Now:
She is comfortably in size 4! Still skinny but she weighs 32 lbs, up for 19.5lbs when we first got her!

Then:

Now:

Sofie has come such a long way. When she first came to us she was just surviving. Just existing. She sat, still. Like she was in a cocoon. I literally watched the child inside her break free and take over the shell it was hidden in. She grew from the inside out. She emerged. It was a long process and there is still some remnants of her past but she is alive now.

She has experienced trauma. Real, gut-wrenching, how-can-there-be-people-who-would-do-that-to-a-child trauma. Neglect. Starvation. All types of abuse. We don’t know everything. I’m not sure she will ever fully be free of the effects of some of it but she is a conqueror. We are winning the battle the against the hurt. Together.

She knows love now.
She knows Mommy and Daddy.
She knows family.
She trusts.
She laughs.
She cries.
She moves.
She eats.
She sings.
She dances.
She is alive.

Sofie is our monkey. She grabs a hold of us with her whole body to give the best hugs. She is silly. She likes to climb. She wants to do everything her ‘big’ sister does. She makes her wants and choices known. She adores her sisters. She loves music. She loves to dance. She loves to be with people. She is smart and knows when to make her DS work for her! She loves the water. She loves the feeling of being thrown up in the air. She loves the trampoline. Sofie likes babies. She loves chocolate. She likes tickles. She likes to bake. She loves to hug. Sofie is a free spirit.

We Love Sofie to the moon and back. I can’t imagine life with out her! She keeps us on our toes and shows us what love can really accomplish. We are so blessed to love her.

Mother’s Day – Late

Posts are few and far between these days! Too busy with life. This is my belated Mother’s Day post…

I love being a mom. It is blessing. It is teaching. It is tiring. It is hilarious. It is self-less. It is heart-breaking.

Being a mom is hard. Being a mom to little children is really hard. Being a mom to a child with a developmental disability and behaviour challenges is really difficult some times.

Dinner!

Mother’s Day celebrations were lovely but had its real life, hard moments too. On the Sunday, Jon made us lobster mac’n cheese for dinner, which was delicious! He even went out to get a live lobster. At church there was Starbucks coffee and Cobbs scones, plus I came home to clean floors and dishes! At preschool on the Friday, the kids had made me pictures of their moms. We had to guess which ones were our child’s. Livi’s was easy because it was the only one that had curly hair take up most of the page. They gave us a lotion hand massage, a slide show that told us their favourite thing to do with us. Livi’s was cuddling with me on the couch and colouring (I don’t generally colour with her but apparently I should start!) And Sofie’s was Mommy tickles! So appropriate.

The hard part was Sofie’s behaviour. Party days are difficult for Sofie. Her school routine is interrupted and all the parents come, so it is rather overstimulating for Sofie. She doesn’t have the luxury then of getting time to transition in to participating like she normally would. We don’t expect everyone to wait for her… so she generally whines, a lot! The parents are pretty normal about it and either smile or ignore it but I found it hard to take this time. It was an extended Party Day, that much worse for Sofie, and Livi deserved my attention too. I did the best I could but felt it wasn’t good enough. I know these situations will happen and they will get better, but I found it really disheartening this year. Hoping next year goes smoother.

I did get to go on a big girl date for sushi and salmon sashimi with my big girl. Salmon Sashimi is our favorite 🙂 It was really fun actually. I need to do special date like that with her more often!
I love being a mom… especially to these three girls. Sometimes it is lonely and I let myself go in to the part of myself where I feel uncertain. Then, I look at how awesome my girls are, giggling to each other and wanting me to join in, and I am fulfilled. 

Happy Birthday Sofie!

My second child, who is actually the oldest, is 5 YEARS OLD!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOFIE!!!
You have made life so full of Joy!

full of Laughter!
full of a new kind of Freedom!
full of Cuddles!

and full of Beauty!
How did I get old enough to have a 5 year old?!
Good Morning Birthday Girl!
Instead of a birthday party we took the girls to the Aquarium! (We will have a joint 5th B-day party for the girls in June when we get them their trampoline…. shhhh! Don’t tell!) The Aquarium was wonderfully successful. We probably didn’t stay as long as some might necessitate because of how overwhelming it is for our young kids, but they enjoyed their time there completely. It was a good day to go… not as busy as I’ve seen it before. 

There was a lot to see and the kids were all over the place, jumping from one fish exhibit, to the penguins, to the frogs, etc. We kept costs down by packing a picnic lunch which was a fabulous idea on more than just a financial level. It got us out of the overwhelming space of the Aquarium and gave us some quiet time in the park. Sofie even got some music time during lunch. Perfect! 
Livi’s favourite part was seeing all of the fish! I liked touching the anemone and seeing how awestruck the girls were at first. And Sofie’s favourite part was probably the Tropical exhibit where she could touch the leaves and trees. Jon’s liked seeing the dolphin play with Livi through the window, which was really cool. It was following the stuffed animal up and down against the glass.
We got home quite expectedly tired but I tried to get a little birthday photo shoot of Sofie, as I do every year on their birthdays, while we blew bubbles and Jon cut the grass. She was done though, but I got a few 🙂

Dinner consisted of Mac n’ Cheese which is her favourite and chocolate cupcakes for dessert! 

Happy Birthday Sofie. You are amazing and I am so blessed to be your mom.