This week we have had two of the biggest decisions of our life to make. Needless to say my meal plan went even more out the window than it was and I only went to the gym once or twice. I’m not expecting good results this Wednesday at my weigh in 😦

What were those big decisions that overwhelmed me with a need for easy, quick, and unfortunately not very healthy food?

Well, we have an opportunity to buy a beautiful, perfect, forever house for a bit of a deal but it would still stretch us financially. So, the question is do we jump in or hold back? It may not seem like such a hard decision to some… “Life is too short to be stressed about finances”, but it is such a perfect house for our growing family in a perfect area! We’ve been discussing it on and off all week and we have a lot of different scenarios to consider, so we still haven’t completely decided what we are going to do.

Speaking of our growing family, the other big decision has come with a child referral! It isn’t typical to get a referral of a child before you’ve even started your homestudy, but because we are, essentially, adopting an “unwanted” child, there is no waitlist of adopting parents. She is beautiful, precious, adorable, a true gift, but two years older than Livi. Jon and I are really struggling with all the issues associated with adopting so far out of birth order. How would Livi adjust to Mommy needing to spend so much extra time with a child older than her? How would our knew daughter adjust to being the oldest child but not the first daughter? What about school? We didn’t want the girls to be in the same grade. So many things are swimming around our heads.

I think we have come to a decision, or at least a compromise, on this decision. We are only just starting our homestudy and this was our first official referral. We don’t want to jump in to something that wouldn’t be right for our family just because it is the first opportunity. There is no legal commitment yet anyway, so we are going to say no for now and see which referrals we get at the end of our homestudy. If she is still available then, we will definitely consider her more. I feel horrible making this decision. Are we making the right one? How can I say no to a child in need? What if no one adopts her? Are we essentially sentencing her to a miserable life in an institution? How do I deal with these kinds of thoughts and not go crazy!? I do feel comfortable with our decision at the moment… but that doesn’t mean in five minutes I won’t change my mind and want to say yes.

Our first homestudy meeting is on Tuesday and we are VERY excited! We’ll talk things over with our social worker than and get a better feel for how everything is going to work from here. Send your love and prayers over the next few months! We have some HUGE decisions and very exciting life changes coming up in the next few months!

I think I’m due for an update post…

Lifestyle change update:

Although my meal plan has slightly gone out the window, I have managed to keep a few of the original goals. No junk food has been in the house. I’ve only cheated with junk food a handful of times. I’ve been eating five smaller meals a day and doing very well at maintaining portion control and balance of carbs, fats and protiens. I’m eating a lot more fruits and veggies and some of the meals from the meal plan have been incorporated in to our every day eating. I would like to get back on to the meal plan more routinely but I’m not stressing about it because I know I am doing so much more than I ever have.

I can fell myself changing. I have more energy. I officially have pants that are too big for me! Clothes that were tight before are fitting perfectly and getting to big! My bathing suit that used to leave a line across my stomach from the rouching pattern on it doesn’t leave a line anymore! I have an appointment to weigh and measure myself tomorrow so there will be an update about the actual numbers soon.

Livi Update:

Livi had her 18 month check-up yesterday. I can’t believe that my baby is 18 months old in five days! She is completely healthy and doing well. I was sure she was going to weigh over 30 lbs … since she was 24lbs 6 months ago. She is only 26.5lbs! I was shocked. She feels a lot heavier!. I don’t completely trust the doctor’s scale. When she gets her vaccinations in two weeks I’ll be able to get more accurate measurement on her.

I’m not worried about her lack of weight gain. She is healthy, growing well, not overly skinny. She has become some what of a pickier eater. I wouldn’t say she IS a picky eater… just pickier than is normal for her. I guess that goes with her age though.

She put herself in time out today. It was awesome. She spit water at me and I told her to go to time out. She ran over to the time out spot by the front door and turned around until I was finished counting to 30, then came back and gave me a hug and kiss. How cute is that! I’ve only really been enforcing it for opening the fridge door (which she does all the time) for the last two days and she already gets it! Well, maybe she doesn’t get it, but she knows the routine!

Adoption Update:

We are trying to sift through a lot of burocracy. There is so much to consider. So many different rules for each different country. We might have to change agencies because our original agency doesn’t work in one of the countries we are seriously considering. The cost for our lastest country of interest is more than any others. I tend to get a bit stressed about the details and finances but Jon has an “it will all work out some how” attitude. It is actually really refreshing. He is being so positive about it, which is slightly uncharacteristic. It does help to ease my mind and keep me convinced that we are doing the right thing. So much uncertainty though.

We can’t do an actual commitment to a waiting chuld until we know which counrty we’ll be able to adopt from. I so want to know what my daughter looks like and start showing her picture off to people 🙂 I think this is a lesson in patience and faith. I don’t have much of those sometimes.