This week we have had two of the biggest decisions of our life to make. Needless to say my meal plan went even more out the window than it was and I only went to the gym once or twice. I’m not expecting good results this Wednesday at my weigh in 😦
What were those big decisions that overwhelmed me with a need for easy, quick, and unfortunately not very healthy food?
Well, we have an opportunity to buy a beautiful, perfect, forever house for a bit of a deal but it would still stretch us financially. So, the question is do we jump in or hold back? It may not seem like such a hard decision to some… “Life is too short to be stressed about finances”, but it is such a perfect house for our growing family in a perfect area! We’ve been discussing it on and off all week and we have a lot of different scenarios to consider, so we still haven’t completely decided what we are going to do.
Speaking of our growing family, the other big decision has come with a child referral! It isn’t typical to get a referral of a child before you’ve even started your homestudy, but because we are, essentially, adopting an “unwanted” child, there is no waitlist of adopting parents. She is beautiful, precious, adorable, a true gift, but two years older than Livi. Jon and I are really struggling with all the issues associated with adopting so far out of birth order. How would Livi adjust to Mommy needing to spend so much extra time with a child older than her? How would our knew daughter adjust to being the oldest child but not the first daughter? What about school? We didn’t want the girls to be in the same grade. So many things are swimming around our heads.
I think we have come to a decision, or at least a compromise, on this decision. We are only just starting our homestudy and this was our first official referral. We don’t want to jump in to something that wouldn’t be right for our family just because it is the first opportunity. There is no legal commitment yet anyway, so we are going to say no for now and see which referrals we get at the end of our homestudy. If she is still available then, we will definitely consider her more. I feel horrible making this decision. Are we making the right one? How can I say no to a child in need? What if no one adopts her? Are we essentially sentencing her to a miserable life in an institution? How do I deal with these kinds of thoughts and not go crazy!? I do feel comfortable with our decision at the moment… but that doesn’t mean in five minutes I won’t change my mind and want to say yes.
Our first homestudy meeting is on Tuesday and we are VERY excited! We’ll talk things over with our social worker than and get a better feel for how everything is going to work from here. Send your love and prayers over the next few months! We have some HUGE decisions and very exciting life changes coming up in the next few months!