8 Months Home!

I was too busy yesterday and missed getting this post up! I was pretty busy today too so it might be a little short.

Sofie has been home for 8 months now! Yay! We are so blessed. Like SERIOUSLY blessed. Man we love her. The girls are getting along better. There is much less hair pulling and fighting over toys. Sofie seems to have replaced some of her previous unwanted behavior with pushing and the word “No”. It is a whined “No” actually. I’m so tired of hearing it. Helping her learn to talk seems to be back firing…

Other than the word no we are loving hearing her talk. She has been saying more words this month. She is starting to say animal sounds and even said “boobies” and “Sess” for her Auntie Sessa. We got to celebrate our first World Down Syndrome Day with our angel. We had our first trip to Children’s Hospital and got some wonderful news about Sofie’s heart. We watched Sofie enjoy not understand her first Easter! She didn’t get the whole egg thing but enjoyed the chocolate! She started her first swim lessons. Parent and Tot, but is still warming up to them. I got to see her kick her first ball too! She is so awesome.

The really exciting news this month is how much weight she has gained and how much she has grown! She is up over 26 lbs and 34 inches! That is a pound this month and an entire inch/2.5 cm! The doctors were getting slightly concerned about her lack of growth. She’s only grown about 1.5 cm up until this month. Now a whole 2.5 cm in a month! No wonder her leggings seemed tighter. Since no one has any real experience with such prolonged malnutrition they weren’t really sure if the lack of growth was caused by something more permanent or if her bones were just taking a little longer to accept the nutrition and start growing. I’m so glad her bones are growing now! She is going to be in a size 3 before I’m ready for it! I’ll add a picture of  my chunky monkey as soon as I get one uploaded!

In The Clear!

When we chose to adopt a child with Down Syndrome we were prepared, as much as we could be, for any and all medical issues that came with her. We were open to any other medical or behavioral issues as long as the main diagnosis was Down Syndrome. When we brought Sofie home we were armed with a priority list of what we needed to tackle and check out to give her the best start possible.

With Down Syndrome there are some fairly common medical concerns that may need to be checked on. These include checking or screening the thyroid, hearing, eye sight, possible GI disorders, neck-spine stability, heart defects or disease, dental, airways, nutrition, orthopedic disorders, OT needs, Speech therapy needs and Physiotherapy needs. There are a few other more common “ailments” but they are not generally screened for, like seizures or autism. You have it with symptoms or you don’t. 
Within the first few days we had Sofie in Canada, we took her too see a highly recommended pediatrician. He was wonderful. At that point, we didn’t have a Care Card for her but we needed to make sure she was not in any immediate need of medical intervention. Our main concern was her undernourishment and nutritional needs at that point, as well as to getting her under a doctor’s care. The doctor was wonderful and checked her out thoroughly. He did not see any immediate concerns other than getting her to put on some weight. We were instructed to give her any thing and everything she would eat and once her Care Card came through we would pursue the rest of it.
Once her card came, the medical appointments started. There was a month there where we had two or three appointments for her each week. It was crazy! She did wonderfully though and we all survived and kept it straight some how. I had to develop a system within a binder to keep it all straight and to bring with me to each doctor appointment, since they frequently ask about the other’s reports. 
I think we have finally seen all the right doctors in order to address any unknown medical concerns, to get any baseline data needed and to confirm that the information we got from Bulgaria was correct or not. I’m am very proud, relieved and blessed to announce that Sofie is one healthy monkey!
Here is a break down:
Thyroid – I need to get her results on paper but no news is good news! She has a healthy normal thyroid!
Gastro-intestinal issues – Blood tests were done to confirm she doesn’t have celiac and she has no symptoms, such as reflux, to suggest any other GI issues. No known obstructions or abnormalities either. She does have constipation frequently but that is most likely due to her diet and the fact that she doesn’t drink enough. Since addressing her liquid intake it has been getting better. 
Dental – We had a relatively short visit with the dentist to try and get her used to it and address any immediate concerns. From the short peak she did take in to Sofie’s mouth, there doesn’t appear to be any major problems. She didn’t see any cavities. There is some crowding, due to Sofie’s small jaw, but nothing of concern at this point. We hope to get a full cleaning in her in May without sedation. Not sure how that’s going to work. 
Air way – I pushed to see an ENT in order to address her possible sleep apnea. Sleep apnea is almost impossible to diagnose at this age and also difficult to treat. There is no major concern here but we are going to see a specialist to discuss possibly taking out her tonsils and adenoids, which may help. I doubt they are going to recommend it though.
Hearing – We had two hearing appointments because the first one was inconclusive. The second appointment suggested some slight hearing loss but not enough to give a hearing aid for. I was unconvinced at these findings because of how inconclusive they were the first time. We will monitor it in the coming months and years. 
Eyes – Sofie has some far farsightedness but again, not enough to warrant glasses at this time. The doctor even thought she might grow out of it. Her right eye turns in because of it, which we had originally thought was due to strabismus. But, no strabismus here! Her right eye also leaks a little. This has lessened since we’ve had here though and the doctor thinks she might also grow out of this as her passage ways grow bigger. If it still leaks in a year or two we might do a duct probe to open it. 
Neck stability – We did the x-ray to check and it is totally normal. It isn’t conclusive but unless we start seeing symptoms of issues we should be in the clear. 
Heart – We were told from the orphanage that Sofie had a foramen ovale that didn’t close a birth as it should have, but did close before her first birthday. We were told she was left with an abnormal murmur. After a successful visit to Children’s Hospital, we got the awesome news that Sofie’s heart is totally normal! Not even a murmur. No follow up is needed until she is 60! Woohoo!
Orthopedics – Her physio has suggested that Sofie get orthotics because of her flat feet and turning in heel. Her pediatrician doesn’t love orthotics and prefers Pedro shoes. Since we have orthotics covered we are going to got with those. We are going to wait until the summer, just before school, when she is going to be wearing her shoes the most and get the most use out of them before she grows out of them. We’ll look in to the Pedro shoes but the only place you can get them is Ontario. 
Nutrition – Although Sofie is getting really good nutrition now and we get extra in her with a daily pediasure, we don’t know what all the effects of 3.5 years of malnourishment will have. She is gaining weight, not fast enough and she isn’t growing as fast as we’d like either. She is on a very high calorie diet but still has days where she doesn’t want to eat much. Her drinking has gotten much better but still needs to be more consistent. The doctor isn’t concerned about her lack of growing “yet”. He thinks there is just a lag and nutritional catch up is needed in her bones. I hope that’s it because I don’t know what the next step would be. We are closely monitoring it with a dietitian too. 
Therapy – We hooked up with the local Child Development Center in order to start Sofie with the therapy’s that she needs. She is in a 6 week OT group to help her and us with her fine and gross motor skills. It also tackles some speech therapy. Speech is my priority right now. We also see a physio every other month or so to track her progress and give me more tips. We are meeting her in the pool this week. While I don’t feel like Sofie is getting enough intervention through the CDC we can’t afford to go privately at this point and don’t have any huge concerns to warrant it either. 
Any concerns that we have for Sofie are all very minor. Just in need of some orthotics, some fattening up, and maybe some glasses one day! I’m pretty sure we couldn’t have been more blessed in the health department with Sofie.

Actually, I feel a little guilty too. I know of so many families with children who have major health concerns and require a lot of interventions, both with and without DS. We were open to and expecting health issues. We were prepared for monthly trips to Children’s hospital and daily therapy. We expected heart monitoring, surgery and corrective splints. Why did we, who were more prepared and aware of what could come than most birth parents, get so blessed with a perfectly healthy child when so many other parents struggle? I know it is kind of weird that I feel this way, but it is there. I’m just so amazed how perfect Sofie is and I’m thankful for how truly blessed we are. 

Paperwork

Have you ever wondered what all the paperwork is that I complain about? Now that all most of the initial and major paperwork is done it doesn’t seem like that much to me. It is all important and benefits us so it was well worth jumping through the hoops. It is just a lot to think about and consider.

Aside from all the adoption paperwork, which is a separate entity in itself, we had a lot to fill out for Canadian taxes and various benefits. After Sofie was legally ours and a Canadian Citizen, the real work began! In order of priority for us…

  1. We applied for her Care Card – This was very important in order to not have to pay for all her doctor appointments out of pocket! 
  2. We applied for her SIN card, Passport, and Child Tax Benefit –  The CTB is through CRA which automatically enrolled us in the Universal Child Benefit since Sofie is still under 6 years old. All parents do this with a new child. We needed the Passport quickly because of a trip to Mexico Jon’s family was taking us on. The SIN card was easy to apply for with the Passport and it is needed for some of the future paperwork.
  3. We contacted and registered with the Child Development CenterUp until age five, special needs kids will get their physio, speech, occupational therapy, feeding therapies and most of the family support through the CDC… unless you get the therapy privately but that means paying for it yourself too
  4. Once her CareCard came we could register her under Jon’s Extended Medical through work.
  5. We applied for the At Home Program –  If you are accepted and given a choice between Medical benefits or Respite benefits ALWAYS choose the Medical benefits. Respite funds are still available through MCFD and other resources, but no other programs cover Medical benefits like the At Home Program does. In order to be accepted in this program the child needs to be dependent in 3 out of the 4 categories. It is easier to be accepted in the program after your child is 3 years old because then it is easier to show delay and dependence and not just typical baby dependence. 
  6. We applied for the Child with Disabilities Tax Benefit –  This is important to have in order to be able to get the credits on our taxes. It also automatically looks at whether you are eligible for a monthly disabilities supplement, just like the Child Tax supplement and Universal Child Benefit.  
  7. We contacted our MCFD Social Worker A lot of parents don’t do this and honestly, I don’t understand why. Once they have applied to the At Home Program (whether you are accepted or not) you have a file and a Social Worker. Your social worker can help you to get other services, like Respite which you probably won’t have through any other programs, among other services. There are a few different types of respite and the best one, in my opinion, is Direct Funded Respite, to give the parents full control. I’m on the wait list for this one. Since I’m not ready for Sofie to go off for a weekend with out me, I can use this money to pay for anything that gives me a break. I could hire someone to take her swimming, do therapies with her or just to baby sit if Jon and I need to go out. 
  8. We are opening an RDSPThis doesn’t quite make sense to me yet but basically, I understand, this is a long term savings plan for Sofie that gets TONS of added grants from the government. It is sheltered from affecting her disability benefits in the future as long as it is spent within the rules. 
  9. We re-did our Wills to include a Discretionary Trust for Sofie –  This is SO important! Most of us have trusts set up in our wills for our children to get if both parents were to die before they were adults. For Sofie we need to structure it a little differently and keep it in our will for our entire lives. If we were to leave a regular trust for Sofie to get at 19, she would have to claim it as income and not be eligible for disability benefits for as long as she has assets that exceed a few thousand dollars. The discretionary trust hides the money from the government by putting it in some one else’s name (you MUST trust that person implicitly) to be used solely for Sofie. The other person doesn’t have to claim it because it is for use on Sofie and Sofie doesn’t have to claim it because technically she doesn’t have access to it. Spending the money is up to the full discretion of the other person, which it why you REALLY need to trust them. This is legal in BC! They can receive this trust at any time in their life so Sofie will get her inheritance from us if we die 5 years from now or 50 years from now. If she dies before the money is spent then her beneficiaries will get the rest, her potential children or her siblings. It is also probably a good idea not to have a beneficiary be a trustee. Since they are in charge of the money, they could decide not to spend it to ensure they get it in the future. 
  10. We also applied for some community programs such as the Access card, to get free movies and entrance in to some attractions, Child Care Supplement for preschool costs, LMDSS funding for her music class/therapy and swimming lessons. There are so many grants and programs out there! I have put together a binder of resources and granting charities if you need any info!

I’m sure there will be more paperwork and programs to apply to as Sofie grows and gets more involved in different things but these were the major ones for us and probably the most important for any new parent of a special needs child! I’m not going to lie. It is a lot of paperwork and keeping things straight. You may need some sort of system. Even within some of these programs there is a lot of paper work to continue filling out, particularly the At Home Program, but it is worth it! When they pay for and deliver Sofie’s diapers, wipes and very expensive Pediasures, I’ll do the paperwork any day!