Month: August 2011

7 Years – Aug 8

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Today is Jon and mine’s 7 year wedding anniversary! It is so weird to think that I am old enough to have been married for 7 years. It might as well be 30! Okay, maybe not. But I feel pretty blessed to have been able to spend 7 years with such a wonderful man! No “itch” yet 😉

10 Things I Love About Jon and Our Marriage:

1. I love that we are so different. I know this probably falls under “things I hate about our marriage” but being so different balances us.
2. I love the Sex… Yup, I just said it 🙂
3. I love Jon’s hugs.
4. I love how much I have learned from Jon and continue learning.
5. I love how we are both COMPLETELY on the same page when it comes to raising our kids and expanding our family.
6. I love how geeky he is… but don’t tell him that!
7. I love how trust worthy Jon is as a husband and man.
8. I love how giving he is. Not just to the needy or charities, but he doesn’t take stock of who gives or does more with any of his relationships and is always willing to go the extra mile for those he loves.
9. I love how well he listens. I don’t mean in a taking orders kind of way, but in a really hearing what I have to say kind of way. (When it counts anyway…. 7 years does plug the ears a little sometimes!)
10. Most of all, I love how he loves me so completely. I don’t always quite understand him, or get where he is coming from but I know that no matter what is going on, he loves me and I am blessed.

So, today was a little bit of a different kind of anniversary than if we had been at home in Canada. We didn’t get to go out alone to celebrate each other making it 7 years with the other one. We had Sofie of course! Honestly, we barely remembered that it was our anniversary. We are kind of running on empty over here but we are okay. We have really been there for each other through this whole past week and barely even snapped at each other… which tends to happen when we are tired and stressed. We are trying to be there for Sofie and give her all that she needs from us. We are taking turns when we need them and figuring each others cues out before we need to even ask. I’m amazed how well we are handling things actually. To top off the stress, I am still sick. Last night was the worst. My whole body was heaving but there was nothing left to get out of me. Not a pleasant feeling. During the day I seem to be able to cope though. I happened to find a English speaking pharmacist who gave me some pills. Not sure what I’m taking but I’m not in the bathroom every 20 minutes tonight 🙂

Sofie is an angel. She is quite possibly the easiest three year old to take care of or parent that I have ever met… except when it is time to eat or drink or go to bed. She is definitely displaying some ‘being from an institution’ behavior and sensory issues. She rocks on her back when she is bored… but surprisingly not when she is trying to go to sleep. She cries through out every meal. We bought some baby food and pablum that we are mixing with the formula we bought. She has been eating well but cries on and off through out it. She doesn’t like things in her mouth although we are starting to see her exploring with that a little. Today she actually had her toes in her mouth and has been putting the rubber teether brush in there a lot too! She won’t drink. We have been watering down a lot of the food and sneaking the liquid in that way but it’s been a struggle. We bought two different kinds of sippy cups, have tried numerous adult cups and water bottles. She refuses to entertain the idea of a straw of bottle nipple in her mouth too. Bed time tonight sucked. She cried on and off for an hour and a half. Not just crying either… she tantrummed. If she falls asleep on us in our sling, bed time is not an issue. But if she is not ready for the sling or bed it is an ordeal. I’m hoping this gets better quickly at home. She needs a routine I think.

Otherwise, today was a good day! We went to the St. Sofia church. The oldest church in Sofia. It was really neat to see. Sofie was doing really well this morning so we ventured off to the Ladies Market, which was mostly a lot of fruits and veggies and knock off clothing. Sofie fell asleep in the sling while we were walking and slept for about an hour. First nap since the first day! Yay! We walked back and passed lots of interesting tourist spots…

The stone that sealed the entrance the the 4th Century crypt 
beneath the St. Sofia Church.

 

 Inside the St. Sofia. The bricks date back to the 6th century

 The old Turkish baths. The building is being restored now.

 Mineral springs. People line up for hours some days to fill their jugs up! 
We thought we’d get a refreshing drink but the water was really hot!

 Changing of the Guards at the Presidency. 
I missed the shot of them high marching.

We stayed in our hotel room during the really hot part of the day and went out again for our Anniversary dinner! The first meal I’d eaten all day because of the sickness the night before! It was delicious! We ended the day with a bath and showers for Mommy and Daddy before our epic night routine. Then Jon treated us to a room service snack and dessert while watching Paris Hilton’s BFF on TV. It was the only English show on besides financial news! All in all, a pretty memorable 7th anniversary! Looking forward to 70 more!

Hanging out on a 20 century old pillar!

Happy Anniversary Mommy and Daddy!

Getting to Know You – Aug 5-7

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These last few days have been up and down for us out here. Jon and I are definitely feeling homesick and missing Livi…. a lot. 
Our first night with Sofie was not too bad. She slept the whole night through but she tossed and turned like crazy. We are still unsure if this is normal for her or if this is just because it was her first night in a different bed. She woke up around 7 am… not too bad 🙂 She didn’t eat well that first day for us so we decided to head out to a mall and see if we could find some baby food. She fell asleep around 10am in my sling while we were walking around so we decided to walk over to our agency to say hi and sign some papers. 
Sofie surprised us here by eating a Bulgarian cookie and fist fulls of those Gerber puffs. This was the first time we’d seen her eating by herself and with out crying! She found her appetite after that. At Anido we got Sofie’s birth certificate with us listed as her parents and the adoption order! We also got some that the Canadian embassy in Bucharest was not responding to our Anido’s calls or emails. Jon tried and got no answer but they responded by email to him later that night saying they were missing the Letter of No Objection from the BC government with a note on the bottom saying that it takes 3 weeks to process these applications. I was trying to stay calm but I was freaking out inside. We figured out that the Notification of Agreement is used in place of the No Objection letter. We respectfully reminded them of that fact and asked them to double check their documents. We also sent emails to our Canadian agency wanting to confirm that they have the document. Both my contacts are on vacation and no one responded to my emails. I was not impressed. My sister called them for me and they called her back with an update. Why didn’t they email me at the same time? Really not impressed. Anyway, the Embassy should have the document so it looks like it is just an oversight with them. We have to wait until Monday to find out. Anido is pretty confident that this will all be worked out by August 12th for us to return home on August 14th but we are still feeling rather nervous. 
Sofie with our Anido contact, Alex.

After visiting the office Sofie fell asleep in my sling walking home and then slept for 3 hours! We ventured out for dinner that evening but otherwise kept a low profile. Sofie ate great this day! She is needing to improve her drinking now though. I’m trying not to get concerned but there are only so many ways you can try to give a kid water.

Saturday morning we slept in and hung around the hotel room for the morning. It was really nice and relaxing for Jon and I. Sofie discovered the mirrors in our front entry ad played there for about an hour! We found a really great little cafe just behind the hotel that has some more North American types of food. I was very thankful for this. I’m getting really tired of greasy cheese on EVERYTHING. After brunch at the cafe we tried to get Sofie down for a nap…. that didn’t happen. She was a little fussy for the rest of the day too, probably because she was over tired. I felt bad when Sofie was really fussy during our Skyping time with Livi. I think Livi was a little confused. Cue mother’s guilt! Bed time was not much better either. Sofie has definitely discovered her appetite but we hadn’t quite realized it yet and after about 20 minutes Sofie crying while we were trying to put her to sleep, Jon suggested we try to feed her. Well, she ate a bucket of baby cereal and fruit! I felt bad again. So, apparently mother’s guilt is a lot worse with two kids in the picture! We finally got her to sleep after that.

With all the fussiness that day, missing Livi and just being really tired of being in another country, I was feeling a little depressed. I had a good cry which helped but still didn’t make me miss home and Livi any less. I think the stress of this whole embassy thing has heightened our anxiety a little. We are coping, but a little prayer for our emotions and of course the paper work would be appreciated!

Discovering herself in the mirror!

“ooooo, Who’s that pretty girl?”

Feeding herself puffs!

Smiles for Daddy 🙂

Flexible as only a child with DS can be!
Almost bed time!

Today, Sunday, has been a little rough too. Sofie is quite fussy again.  We had planned on doing some sight seeing and local shopping but she not been wanting to be in the sling. We did make it to the St. George Rotunda, oldest standing building in Sofia dating to the 4th century and an Orthodox church where we got to see part of an infant baptism. We went to the mall instead to buy some smaller clothes for Sofie because all the 18 month stuff us swimming on her, more baby food and look for a cheap little umbrella stroller. The cheapest stroller we could find is about $75 Canadian. I guess cheap strollers aren’t worth it out here with the difficult side walks.

St. George Rotunda
All the brick work is original and dates back to the 4th Century.
It became a church in the 6th Century and a Necropolis later on. 
Nap time didn’t go over so well today either. She cried on and off for an hour and half. All three of us are having a bit of a rough go of it. Sofie is a little constipated but some little pebbles did come out today, after more tears. She was fed but wouldn’t sleep no matter what we tried. Maybe she didn’t sleep during nap time in the orphanage. I kind of doubt this because she sure looks tired. I feel kind of helpless. She still isn’t drinking either. We are watering down all her food to try and get some liquids in her. 
We’ve stayed in the hotel room this afternoon to try too contain the stimulation a bit for her. She is doing well other than the lack of sleeping, drinking, and pooping 🙂 She gives us lots of giggles! She is really starting to understand the signs for ‘more’ and ‘all done’ and uses them correctly when it suits her 🙂 She does throw a few tantrums but it is not any different from any other one year old… which is where I think she is basically is developmentally. She has been coming to us for comfort and even came to me today specifically to play and laugh with! She does do some self stimulating rocking thing on her back. It looks like it is a symptom for being bored at the institution. I’m not sure whether I should let her do this or stop it each time. It kind of depends on how I have been feeling, whether I let it go or not. All in all, we are really enjoying her, we just want to be at home in our own space, with both of our kids.

Gotchya! – Aug 4

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Today was our “Gotchya!” Day! I was so excited. Sofie is ours! Completely ours! No more orphanage! No more rotating caregivers! No more crying with no one able to help! Just family and love! How awesome!

We got to the orphanage around 10:30 am and met Alex, our main contact from Anido, who was also going to be our translator for the day. We had a brief meeting with the Director again to go over some of the last details. It whirled by quickly. I didn’t really know what was going on. I just wanted to get my baby and get out of there. It wasn’t that it was a terrible place. The staff were all very kind, a little on the strict side, but gentle and caring. Of course I do believe that orphanages and institutions are systemically flawed, I also now believe that Sofie received the best care they knew how and were able to provide. I just wanted to be settled in a nice hotel with her and able to relax.

The Director gave us a diary of when Sofie accomplished different developmental milestones and it even has a trace of her hand in it at 1 year old. Navsco is going to translate it for us! Some of the pages have little flowers drawn in it by the staff too 🙂 I believe Sofie was really loved. We were also given a little book with 23 pictures in it of Sofie from when she was 2 months old to blowing out the candles on her 3rd birthday! The birthday one made me really happy. We were celebrating her that same day! I’ll scan them all in when we get home. We signed some papers saying we had received the child, we gave our suitcases of clothes, lotions, and candy, gave the presents for the staff and Director then we were off! A few staff members came to take a look at us but no one really stuck around. I did get one picture of the entrance with Sofie and a staff. I don’t think she was a regular caregiver though. Maybe she was a Doctor?

Saying goodbye.
We had a long car ride to Sofia. Alex was not nearly as aggressive a driver as the first one we had. Sofie fell asleep almost immediately and slept the entire way there. The car seat laws are not nearly as strict here as in Canada. We had her in a car seat that Anido provided but I doubt it would pass any Canadian tests. Alex said I could take her out if I wanted and I wouldn’t need a car seat for taxi rides with Sofie… I guess “when in Rome, do what the Romans do!” We are not planning to use a taxi very often, only to get to the mall once and the Zoo. Otherwise our hotel is central to everything.
Where are you taking me?

Up until now, Jon and I have been coping with some pretty sketchy hotels. The first one was nice but in a sketchy part of town, really far away from everything. The second one in Plovdiv, was right in the middle of the square where all the shopping and restaurants were but it was bad, like Ivanhoe in Vancouver bad. I was so uncomfortable and sick too. We needed to book our hotel for when we were back in Sofia with Sofie and did some looking around. In the end, location and luxury won out. I really just wanted to be comfortable so we sprung for the nicest hotel in the center of town. It has a walking park right outside and a playground. The room is insanely huge with couches and a front entry room! We got a really good deal on it from Expedia but every time we tell some one we are staying there, there eyes get all big. We were planning on $70-$80 a night while we were here but this is costing us just over $100. This room typically costs $325 a night. Thank you Expedia! The first hotel was right on budget but we saved a bundle with the second one, only paying $35 a night. We decided this was my birthday present 🙂 This room is so worth it. Sofie has room to explore with out getting in to too much. She can sleep in bed while I blog at the desk and Jon reads on the couch! Okay, enough justifying my extra expense 🙂
Checking out her new stomping grounds 🙂

Settling in with Daddy.

Play time!
We are already learning a lot about Sofie. She is so calm and quiet. She generally only cries when she eats. This is looking like it is going to be our biggest hurdle. She clenches, grinds and clicks her teeth and jaw continuously but doesn’t really chew food. I think she is really delayed orally. We have only heard her say “ahhhh’s” so far too. I don’t think they let her put things in her mouth to stimulate her oral development so we’ve been playing at it a little today… not with huge success. The only thing she has really let me get in there is my finger once or twice. She doesn’t like eating. They basically had to force feed her at the orphanage, from what we could see, and she cried on and off through out it. I don’t like this approach but she is so skinny, I know she needs to eat. We brought some formula with us but she won’t take the bottle yet, and drinking anything from a cup is hit or miss for her. We are going to try and find a suitable sippy cup. She can’t use a straw yet either… we tried. I think the plan of action, until we can talk to some professionals back home, is to try give her 5 smaller meals instead of the three she is used to so she can continually have something in her stomach. Any advice with this is appreciated! I never had this problem with Livi!
We gave Sofie her first bath today. I didn’t see any tubs at the orphanage, only shower rooms with buckets. She didn’t love it, but she didn’t hate it. I went in with her and I think that is why she didn’t completely hate it. We got lots of skin to skin contact which I don’t think she’s ever had before either. Staff always had their uniforms. She clung to me but let me wash her and even smiled once or twice. She didn’t venture away from me at all though. She has a bad bum rash which we were told was from the antibiotics she was given when she was sick last week. I can’t really get a good look at it because the cream they were using has turned her skin all purple. I think it is the same as thrush medicine. I thought thrush was a yeast infection that babies could get on their mouths. I’ve also heard of babies getting yeast infections on their vagina’s but not their bums. I’m thinking it is more likely that with her diarrhea her bum was irritated from the bm’s and wiping. They wanted to send me home with some but I assured them I had some cream. I’m going to trust Arbonne in this case more than purple dye. We gave her lots of naked bum time after her bath too, another thing I don’t think she’s ever had. She kept trying to touch her bum 🙂

After settling in to our hotel room a bath and dinner, we started doing the round of Skype with everyone! Everyone was very excited to see her 🙂 Livi kept looking at her and trying to talk to her. It was really cute. I asked Livi if she thought was should bring Sofie home and she matter-of-factly said “yup.” I’m so looking forward to settling in at home with my two baby girls 🙂

Wearing Sofie out and about! Everyone kept staring at us.
Baby wearing is not in fashion here 🙂

Sofie was so tired by the end of everything, but despite it all she wouldn’t fall asleep in our bed. We got a king bed so we could co-sleep while we were here. She was tired, still, and kept yawning, but 40 minutes in to Jon and I each taking turns lying down with her she was still awake. I decided to try and put her in my sling again, since she has been enjoying it so much. 10 minutes of me swaying her in my sling, she was out. I loved that. I’m not sure I want this to be a continual thing for the next year or anything, but I’m totally willing to do that each night for a few months 🙂 Just look at the results…