Tag: Parenting

Christmas Keeps Going…

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When I was a kid I always thought that holidays were a time to relax, a break from homework… and then I became an adult and realized all the busyness and work that goes in to holidays! We have been so busy! I’m exhausted! It has been a good busy though.

After our immediate family Christmas’, we had our first extended family Christmas with my Mom’s family. I think it was the first year in a VERY long time nearly everyone was there… except for four cousins (including my sister). It was nice to see everyone and see how happy in made my Grandparents. My Grandpa barely made it, as his health seems to be taking severe dives from day to day. It is definitely in the back of everyone’s mind that this is his last Christmas… although we could be thinking that for the next five Christmas’ too!

We couldn’t stay very long at the get together because Livi and I had a ferry to catch. We had to eat and run. We were headed to the Island for a new charity board meeting! I brought Livi with me to visit with her Auntie Lisa and Uncle Tony. They don’t get to see her very often. Livi had a lot of fun… aside from basically crying herself to sleep. It had been a very overstimulated last few days!

By the way… taking a one year old on the ferry alone is VERY TIRING! I’ll write about the meeting in another post when I have more time too.

Today, I’ve been at a First Aid Course all day. It is a requirement for the group home I work at. My sister and her co-worker/a friend of ours came with me, which made the eight hour day a little more bearable. The instructor was not my biggest fan… I made the mistake of mentioning that I had not done the required reading because I’ve taken the course at least 4 times before. She didn’t think that was very acceptable and kept making comments in every section about how we should have read this already and she is doing those who hadn’t pre-read a favor by going over it. Oh well… I got 100%!

Tomorrow we go to Vancouver to ring in the New Year with some dear friends of ours. Livi is going with Jon’s Mom to Chehalis Lodge for an extended family reunion weekend. His Mom’s family does this weekend every two years. It is a lot of fun, but a lot of family over a longer period of time! This will be the first year with the start of the next generation. Livi is the first Great Grandchild. Two years ago we announced to the family at this weekend, that we were pregnant! Now Livi gets to help us make even more memories! Jon and I will join everyone on New Years day… hopefully not hungover 🙂

I’m a little apprehensive to send Livi ahead though. She has been so overstimulated this past week and as a result is over tired. I’ve tried to be anally rigid with her schedule and meeting her needs at every possible moment to compensate. I was away from her all day today, which never happens, so I’m already feeling a bit guilty. Damn Mother Guilt! I expect her to be a little more clingy than normal tomorrow and then I have to send her with Mom! I have no concerns about Livi’s safety or needs being met with Mom, but she is going in to a new surrounding, with a lot of people who are going to be very excited to see her and I won’t be there to read her signs and comfort her. The idea that I won’t be there if she wants me KILLS me!

I’m usually not this tense about her being with out me. She does great! She is such an easy going, independent little angel. I think my anxiety is a little higher than normal because of the holidays and busyness for myself. I’m probably a little overstimulated too! Hopefully though, with so many people to watch Livi this weekend, I’ll be able to relax and catch up on my sleep 🙂

Listen To Your Kids

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Sunday night at church, one of our teaching pastors interviewed a Christian gay musician, who grew up in the Abbotsford Christian community. He shared his story through hating who he was and beliefs that God and his family would not love him if they knew, in to a musician with a debut album that chronicles his journey. He is hoping that his music can help gay teens who are having similar experiences that he did and help bridge the gap between homosexuals and Christians.

His story was authentic and eye-opening but his music just mediocre. The amazing part of the evening for me was not his journey but his parent’s. His whole family had joined us at our church that evening. With them sitting there, he gave some insight in to how they handled his “coming out”. He didn’t go in to detail but from the little that was said it sounded like he approached it in steps for them and it was received with a whole array of emotions. The parents raised their kids in a conservative Christian home with the traditional belief that homosexuality was a sin. 

All of this is just back story for the really fabulous part of the evening. The floor was opened up to questions and comments, which is when his father spoke up. I think the parent’s emotions were still raw over everything. His father spoke to his son with such emotion, filling their relationship with restoration and love. For the seven of the 13 years that his son struggled struggled with his sexuality, the family had no idea. They assumed it was just teenage angst. While the father spoke he broke down crying, pleading with parents to listen to their kids. I can imagine there must be a lot of feelings of guilt on the parents side. He went up to the front, embraced his son and through tears, told him that he loved him. You can’t get more organic or beautiful than that.

The father’s words really made me think. Do I have ideas for my daughter’s future? Yes, I do. Is it wrong of me to think or hope that she is going to be hetero sexual and have a family? (Not to say that homosexuals can’t have a family.) Why do I have a preconceived idea for her? I think it must be my own upbringing and environment. How would I handle her being bi-sexual or homosexual? Will I create an open and accepting environment for her to feel comfortable enough to talk to me about anything? I really hope so! As the artist’s father said “listen to your kids”. That listening starts now. I want to be her friend as well as her mother. I want her to feel and know that I will love her no matter what. 

As far as my personal views go regarding sexuality, I’m fairly accepting. I believe as long as people are coming from a place of health and respect for themselves and their sexual partner/s, any relationship can be beautiful, no matter what that relationship looks like. I believe there is a kind of scale people are on in regards to homo or hetero sexuality. Some people tend towards the more hetero side of the scale, some are in the middle and bisexual, and some are more on the homo side of the scale. We joke about this “scale” at parties and often refer to it as a “sliding scale”, dependent upon how many drinks you’ve had 🙂  Some people may think that I am living in a desensitized culture and opening my views up to much. That may be true in some instances, but wouldn’t it be better to error on the side of love and acceptance than on the side that breeds judgment and seclusion? As a song that was covered on Sunday night says “You’re frozen when your heart’s not open.”

Moments to Cherish

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Some of my most favorite child hood memories (the few I do have) are of baking buns with my Grandma and making pumpkin muffins with my mom. One thing my mom was always very good at was including us in baking and cooking. We learned at very young ages how to measure ingredients, roll cookie dough, peel potatoes, and use a knife. She was patient with us and taught us well. All three of her daughters are very proficient cooks and bakers. I’m not sure how much my brother bakes but he can definitely cook and does numerous times a week for himself and Maggy.

Making these memories with my daughter is one of the reasons I became a mom. They are up there with getting that first scrunchy smile in the morning from Livi or the last sleepy eye droop before she goes to sleep. Up there with catching Livi in my arms as she runs to greet me when I come in the door or hearing her giggle with glee or pride at discovering or accomplishing something new. I love my baby girl so much and watching her develop in to the beautiful, happy girl that she is becoming fills me with so much pride and joy. I didn’t know I could be this happy!