Like most mothers I know, I also agonized over all the conflicting information over the H1N1 vaccine. Has it been tested enough? What about side effects? What’s all the talk about the thermasil or mercury in the vaccine? And so on. I am all for most vaccinations in general (check out my post on the topic) but the amount of different information and extreme cases that I was hearing connected with this H1N1 vaccine, from numerous different sources, scared me. I did not want to make a decision based on fear or false information. After much research and deliberation I decided that I was okay with, and wanted, Livi to get the un-adjuvanted vaccine. The version of the vaccine that is recommended for pregnant women.

I was not willing gamble with my daughters health based on vague, unknown possibilities. We have substantiated data that healthy, young people are dying from H1N1 and only fears of side effects from the vaccine itself. I will admit that my resolve to get Livi the un-adjuvanted vaccine instead of the adjuvanted version was based on fear of the less tested immune booster.

I was told that the un-adjuvanted version would be available this week so we went to the doctors this morning to get vaccinated. He checked me over first since I have been sick for about five days now. I may or may not have H1N1. I got sick hours after picking up a prescription for my Grandpa. The guy in front of me at the pharmacy was picking up Tamiflu for his daughter, that he had with him, who was sick with H1N1. I was the next customer up to the counter that he was touching. It is that easy people! The doctor concluded that I do have a flu… whether it is THE flu or not could only be determined by a blood test. Since I am already five days in to it, the treatment would be the same either way. He gave me some asthma medicine to help alleviate some of my chest discomfort and sent me on my way. 

Amazingly Livi and Jon are not sick. They got vaccinated today. Unfortunately, my doctors office had not received the un-adjuvanted version yet. I felt pressured in to making a quick decision and pressured to give her the adjuvanted one. I had not considered the possibility of giving her the adjuvanted version and felt slightly blind sided. I did a lot of research and weighed the pros and cons for giving her the plain vaccine or possibly getting H1N1, but I did not feel like I did enough research on the immune booster.

Jon didn’t care which version we gave to Livi as long as she got the vaccine sooner than later. In the end I decided that it was the best thing for her to get this vaccine now. With the shortage there was no guarantee when the un-adjuvanted version would be available. I am confident with our decision and truly believe it was the right thing to do. I didn’t like how I had to come to that decision but I know it is the best thing for Livi.

Livi takes shots so well! She barely flinched and didn’t cry! How tough is she?! She just gave the doctor a look and rubbed her arm a little bit. It was actually pretty cute.

So, with the suspision of me having H1N1, I am under quarantine for another few days. They say at least 7 days. I’m on day 5. I think I’ll lay low atleast until I’m symptom free though. I’m getting a little bit of cabin fever. Since I’m starting to feel ever so slightly better, I’m starting to want to get out, but I expend any little amount of energy I do have very quickly. I hope I get better soon! This flu is NOT fun and has wiped me out of commission completely. I have done a lot of research, weighed all the pros and cons and would advise anyone to get the vaccine!

My little girl made the most pretty Little Red Riding Hood I’ve ever seen! We had fun taking her trick-or-treating at the mall with every other kid in Abbotsford! It was so busy. Livi was excited at first but she got over stimulated quite quickly. I think we only made it through one wing of the mall before she started getting stranger anxiety. She had fun though 🙂

On a side note Livi said her first… and second swear words! She was copying me both times! Oops. I guess I’ll have to start seriously watching my language. I would just like to note that I do not swear more than Jon… Livi just happened to copy me both times.

I asked Jon the other day what I should blog about next. He asked me… What is my goal in parenting? What motivates me to parent the way that I do? Hmmm, good question. We probably should have discussed this before we had a child.

To be honest. I think there is a lot of parenting that I do with out even thinking. A lot about parenting a newborn, and now a toddler, that is just common sense. I feed her and change her diaper to keep her happy and healthy. I say “no” when she is trying to climb on the arm of the couch only to jump off of it because I want to keep her safe and alive. These are just the bare minimums that I wouldn’t think really need explaining.

Really, the main things I want for my daughter is that she be happy, healthy, and well-rounded. That is what motivates me to parent the way that I do. I believe that the values I am hopefully instilling in her through my parenting will help her to be happy and well-rounded. The healthy part is mostly out of my hands, aside from giving her a healthy diet and exercise. Becoming a parent really makes you aware of the unpredictability and power of a higher being.

I believe that some of the things that will make Livi happy are things like relationships, self-worth, compassion, understanding, knowledge, uniqueness, and authenticity. How I go about instilling these values will, I’m sure, change over the years. Right now I concentrate on making Livi feel safe and secure to explore the world around her. I play with her as much as I can, trying to teach her at the same time. I hug and kiss her as much as I can, not only because I love to but because I want her to know how loved she is. I give her boundaries, rules, and freedom all at the same time. I get her to help me with the chores… or at least be in close vicinity to where the chores are being done. I try to remember to explain things too her. I involve different kinds of safe and loving people in her life so she can grow up in a diverse, supportive, positive atmosphere and learn to trust and have compassion for others. I try to foster her talents and uniqueness, celebrating each milestone, achievement, and expression of individuality.

I’m not sure how good I am at this whole parenting thing. I know I love it with all my heart and I try my best. I know I could do some things differently or better but my motivations are pure and I hope, through the grace of God, I can properly prepare my precious baby girl for what I’m sure will be a difficult life in its own rite.